UP CLOSE AND BEARSONAL

Finally, the long-promised star story of my trip thus far...

After an uneventful night at Quickmunk, I woke and began planning my first full day in Shenendoah. After cross-referencing three different travel guides and maps, I decided on doing a waterfall hike, listed as a "don't-miss" in all my sources. My hopes fell, however, as I pulled into the parking lot. It was packed, and a pair of whiny kids sat at the trailhead yelling to each car that pulled in, "Turn aroooound! Dooooon't go! it's toooo haaaaaaaaaard." Their father stood by, all but encouraging his childrens' public service announcements. He, too, warned an older couple approaching the trailhead of the perils they were about to encounter. He had a thick accent; I can't place it, but if I had to guess I'd say Transylvania. He had this vampire-chuckle going on too (like Count Chocula): "Dent go dar, ah. ah. ah. On scale of ten I vuld rate it meybey eight, ah. ah. ah." What made it all the more funny was the fact he was wearing a shirt that read 'SHENENDOAH: The Mountains Are Calling, I Must Hike'. I ignored them, but sat in my car to gather my things and watched as people emerged from the trailhead in the woods sweaty and complaining. I would have been concerned, but from the looks of it, most of these people probably get sweaty and complain crossing a grocery store parking lot. In fact, it looked a lot like a Disneyland on a summer weekend to me. Ugh.

All this led to my decision to unpack some stuff from my backpack to make it lighter, taking out things I wouldn't need on a hike in Disneyland: stuff like my cannister of trusty ol' bear spray.

I passed through the gauntlet of loud, lazy kids and found myself on a beautiful little path following a creek down the hillside. Ok, so it was a little steep, but it definitely didn't warrant the warnings. It took about ten minutes to get to the waterfall, and there were dozens of families and hikers playing in the water, taking pictures, and having lunch. It was nice, but not worth lingering around by myself. I had budgeted way more time for this hike, so instead of turning around, I followed a fire road at the base of the waterfall to another, smaller trailhead called Rose Creek Falls.

It was a gorgeous day, and Shenendoah was blissfully green. The trail followed alongside a bubbling little creek, with little waterfalls and pools along the way. I hadn't seen anyone on the trail for a good ten minutes when I ran into a couple of hikers coming my direction. We passed, smiling, and said hi and something about the weather. I turned to keep going, but as an afterthought, the woman turned and said "oh, by the way, we saw a momma bear and her cubs up there!" Oh crap. I asked them if I should turn around, but they waved it off, saying it was way far, and they were probably gone by now. They weren't concerned, so I pressed on, although I was enjoying the scenery a tiny bit less now. When I ran into two more hikers a bit later, they hadn't seen the bears, but said they had been talking so loud it probably got scared away. "Just make a lot of noise" they suggested. I kind of pointed out I didn't really have anyone to talk to...(um, duh?!), and they suggested in that case, I should hike with a bell. Thaaaanks. I'll just go pick one up at the....oh yeah, that's right. We're in the middle of the forest, I have no way of obtaining a bell unless I find one miraculously on the trail, which would probably indicated the previous owner was eaten by a bear anyway. I digress.

The problem was averted when I remembered my car keys have an emergency whistle on them. (A stocking-stuffer xmas present from years ago, when, at the time, I thought "Random. Thanks Mom. I'll stick this in a drawer and never use it." A word of advice to all 13 year olds who get emergency whistles instead of lipgloss in your stockings: keep it. You very well might need it in 11 years or so.) I took to alternately jingling my keys like a zookeeper, and lightly blowing on the whistle to make some noise. I passed more families, saw beautiful waterfalls, plants, and deer taking sips from the creek. It was so glorious. On a whim, I decided I needed to take a swim in one of the deep pools. I hiked off the trail down to the beach, and watched the trail. I hadn't seen anyone pass in 20 minutes or so, so I did a quick undie-dip. It was so perfectly refreshing. I wanted to stay, but the bear thing was still sort of on the back of my mind and I didn't really feel like getting caught in my undies by passerby. I threw on my shorts, took a quick picture to capture the moment, and hiked back up to the trail.

I was in this blissful solo-hiking-undie-dipping-nature-loving state of mind hiking back up the trail, shaking my keys occasionally in an absent-minded sort of way. I passed a couple with two golden retrievers, and lazily thinking the dogs would definitely have made enough noise to scare stuff away, I stopped my jingling for a bit and continued on.

You know when something happens and you have a great big burst of adrenaline and then later you really can't recall what happened exactly? I can't quite recall whether I actually ran into bear cub or whether it ran into me or out in front of me, but I suddenly found myself nose-to-nose with a bear cub. My thought process was something like this:

1. BEAR!
2. It's a baaaybeeeee how cuuuuuute!!
3. WHERE THE F IS IT'S MOMMY?
4. Oh, my god, it's so cuuuuuuuuute up close! Look at his widdle nose...

[At this point, the baby recovers from its shock and scales the nearest tree, peering down at me fearfully]

5. MOTHER BEARS ARE EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE ESPECIALLY IF THEY FEEL YOU HAVE FRIGHTENED THEIR BABIES UP TREES.
6. Tina, you idiot, idiot idiot. YOU TOOK YOUR BEAR SPRAY OUT OF YOUR PACK BEFORE THIS HIKE.

7. I HAVE A GOOD CHANCE OF DYING VERY SOON.


I backed away slowly, beginning to jingle my keys and lowly blowing on my whistle (Will a louder noise alert the mom that I'm here if she hasn't noticed yet? or scare her away?) I'm not sure what possessed me to do what I did next, but as I backed away, I took out my camera and filmed myself. A last record if I die, perhaps? If I survive, proof I saw a bear? I think I just really needed to talk it out, and needed something to talk to.

The clip now makes me laugh really hard. I call it my "Bear Ditch Project." (yeah, rhymes with Blair witch...in case you didn't catch it...) The subtitle is "What My Face Looks Like When I'm Scared Shitless" Because really, you don't ever make that face in the mirror.

I insist that I'm filming the bear looking at me, but all you can see is green blur of trees because my hands are shaking so hard. Also, I say there are two bear cubs in the clip. Either I was seeing double, or my memory is already failing me. hmmm....




(Sorry it's sideways, I've tried multiple times and failed to turn it the right way. Why didn't i think to film the right way at the time?! damn.)



I ended up waiting a good ways down the trail until somebody else came along, and I explained, calmly, I had just run into a bear. As my luck would have it, this hiker did not speak English. I had to mime out "bear" (claw hands, teeth bared), and he was still pretty unimpressed. I ended up following the hiker back up, and there were no signs of the bear. I'm sure he thought I was insane.

OH, SHENENDOAH

In planning out the next stages of my trip in my safe haven in Maryland, I decided I needed a break from cities for awhile. I decided to get as far away from killer crosswalks and pricey street snacks as I could--and head for the largest swatch of green on my roadmap, which turned out to be Shenendoah National Park. I did eventually come to realize that perhaps Shenendoah isn't quite as remote as I had thought (it is home to "Skyline Drive"; you can actually motor through the whole park, stay in swank lodgings, and pretty much forgo the wilderness experience if you like) but it was definitely a step in the right direction.

I camped in Matthew's Arm campgrounds the first night, although I never did find out why it was called that. Due to the positive feedback to my renaming the Yellowstone spot Elk Butt, I renamed this particular site "Quickmunk", for my speedy little striped friends who made frequent laps around the car and picnic table at will. I went for an uneventful hike upon establishing my set up, wandering down one trail head that later linked to a fire road. Although there were plenty of cars and people at the campsite, I didn't see a single soul on the trail. When I hiked back into the campsite the back way, I turned and realized the 4 foot wide, cleared and maintained trail was labeled "backcountry". Hmm.

I had some mealtime entertainment back at camp, as a rowdy family of four set up a temporary picnic at the site next to Quickmunk. It was something out of a cartoon, with two hyperactive boys, a dad in an old tank top undershirt, a mom with a serious mullet, and a well-fed rottweiler, who was promptly tied to the nearest tree as mom passed out buckets of fried chicken. They first caught my attention when one of the boys yelled "duuuuuuuuuurrng, lookit THIS one!" and triumphantly held up an apparently interestingly-shaped chicken nugget. The other boy wasted no time in knocking it out of his hand and the doomed nugget was then chucked under the table. Mom witnessed this and began to cuss the boys out for attracting bears (my ears perked up at this and I realized this family fun may indeed result in attracting danger to Quickmunk. I began to ponder whether the rottweiler was a plus after all?) The boys then turned their attention to the dog, narrating its bodily functions: "Maaaaaam, Brandy's whizzing on the leash! Brandy's whizzing on the tree! Brandy's whizzing again!" I settled into my dinner, preparing for a long night of Brandy-whizzing and chicken-flinging, but luckily once the food was gone, the family packed up and drove on.

MARYLAND: THE OASIS

I have to admit I was still wiping tears away as I drove out of DC with my broken window whistling on the highway. I am so grateful and lucky for Theresa, one of my mom's best friends, and her family who live in nearby Maryland for offering me a safe haven after the break in. I couldn't have asked for anything more; big hugs, hot shower, a delicious homemade dinner (with a delicious desert to top it off!--see left), and a safe driveway to park the car. They even covered my window overnight to keep animals from getting in (I never would have thought of that; I'm sure if it was up to me I'd be road tripping with a family of racoons riding shotgun).

The next morning was fix-it day. As we all know, when it rains it pours, and my cell phone decided now would be an excellent time to go on the fritz. It would only function on speakerphone mode, which is a little rude if you ask me. I managed to contact the broken-window-glass-guy who agreed to come out to the house and replace the window there, and in the meanwhile Theresa and I went out in search of a new phone. Anyone who accompanies another person while shopping for a cell phone is a saint. Especially when that person has a debilitating case of "I-hate-shopping-for-electronics-and-am-indecisive-on-top-of-that" syndrome. Thank you, Theresa.

The next fix-it was my ukulele. I realize that I neglected to report during the intense heat of the farm in Illinois, one of my uke strings popped right off! I had, up until this point, taken a hiatus from uke-ing. Luckily my gracious guardian angel host family took me to a music shop and I was able to get it re-strung! (Although this wasn't without obstacles either; the first shop we tried laughed at my "little guitar"...they had never seen a ukulele before!)

I ended up spending a few days in Maryland. We gardened, went for walks, played intense domino games, and did sight-seeing at Fort McHenry and Baltimore. I even learned how to eat blue crabs! (see right, weilding tools of the trade...) I can't possibly describe how lovely this visit was. In retrospect, I realize I was actually quite lucky to have my window broken in the first place, or I may not have gotten to spend this time with such a great family.

DC: THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY

Woke up feeling pretty over the city, but I had planned to be in the capital for Independence Day (it seemed so appropriate for my American road trip), so I decided to grit it out for a couple more days. I had to move my car in the morning (DC has weird parking laws), so I found a place several blocks away that seemed good in front of a Children’s Health Center with a security guard out front. I set off trying to get in a better city mood, trying to find something that didn’t include museums or spending money.

After passing several embassies (can I technically say I was on Chilean and Peruvian soil today?), I stumbled upon the National Geographic Museum. I figured a free-admission air-conditioned museum is better than wandering aimlessly in the heat, so I explored it a bit. One room with lots of flashy pictures of lions and....that’s about it. Disappointing!

I vaguely remembered seeing posters for a folk-like festival on the Mall, so I hiked down to check it out. Lots of food vendors and music tents, looked pretty fun! I sat down and watched a Puerto Rican band for awhile, and during one of their most lively songs, the old man next to me asked me to dance! Unfortunately, he had no idea how to dance, but he had waited until the last minute of the song to ask me, so the awkward step-hopping he called salsa was very brief.

My mood was starting to lift, and I had just wandered into a tent full of Cuban music when I got a phone call.

The worst thing about a police officer calling you is that they always ask you right off the bat, “how are you today?” when they know they’re about to ruin your day. They told me my vehicle had been broken into and that I needed to come right away.

Thing was, I was all the way down at the Mall and my car was like 26 blocks away. I had no cash on me for a taxi, and no clue how to use the metro or the bus system. There are no Wells Fargo banks in DC, and I couldn’t figure out how to use my card in the other banks’ ATMs. The security guard from across the street had found my bags strewn in the middle of the street, and was holding them for me in his office, but got off work in 15 minutes and really wanted to go, so he kept on calling me and asking where I was. I held it together for about 10 minutes of this, but ended up trying to run the 26 blocks, sobbing, on my phone telling the guy I’d be right there, and stopping at every ATM I came across trying to get cash. It’s actually kind of funny in retrospect, I must have looked like a lunatic. Factoring in the city crosswalk situation didn’t help, and at one point, when an SUV decided to take aim for a large group of pedestrians of which I was a part of, I was so angry I walked right in front of the bumper, crying, with one hand holding my cell phone and one hand held up with my palm out, the universal STOP signal. The driver was so surprised, he and his passenger started mocking me, holding their palms back out to me, and I gave them attitude right back, pointing angrily to the WALK signal. It was all I could do not to try to dent their hood. In retrospect, I wish I did.

When I finally realized I could not run the entire way without getting a taxi, I actually went into a bank and asked for help getting cash. Lame, but I seriously needed help!
With my cash, I hailed a taxi and got to my car. Broken glass was everywhere, and all my bags had been opened and rifled through, but nothing had been taken!! I bet they were pretty disappointed, only finding a backpack full of books, a bag of size seven hiking boots, a bag of feminine hygiene products, and a glovebox with nothing but a can of bear spray (I really wish I could have seen their reaction to that!!) I was still really upset and SUPER over the city at this point, so I went back to Jessica’s, grabbed all the stuff the thieves WISH they’d gotten (my laptop etc), and headed to Baltimore, broken window and all, where my mom’s good friend Theresa lives. Game over, DC.

DC Day 4: Change of Headquarters

Unfortunately, Rachel and I had terrible timing, and she had to fly home for the 4th of July. I decided to transfer my city headquarters to my good friend Jessica’s apartment, who lived in a slightly different place in the city. The timing worked out that I left Rachel’s in the morning and was due at Jessica’s in the evening, so I had another day to sightsee on my own, only this time I didn’t have a secure place to leave my valuables. I’ve been told multiple times that it is a fact my car will get broken into, so I won’t leave anything super expensive or irreplaceable in the matrix. Without an apartment to leave my laptop and gps system in, I had to pack them around the city. Let me tell you, my trusty macbook pro gets heavy FAST. And my “ergonomic” computer pack is anything but. Factor in a super-hot city day, and you get a painful, sweaty, and exhausted trekker.

That evening, I was able to move the Matrix in front of Jessica’s apartment and accompanied her and her roommate to a medical-school dinner party. I’d say about 90% of the vocabulary they used went straight over my head (Yeah, I’ve got O.B. in the A.M. with G.L.S. and then H.T.Y. later....) (okay, I made that up, but that’s what it sounded like!) Fun none-the-less, and the food was good. Thanks J-Ro!

DC: Day 3

I went back for Smithsonian museums, round two. This time, I braved the metro all by myself! I have come to the (surely unfair and biased) conclusion that people in DC like to talk to themselves, judging solely on my fellow passengers: a man sang along with his ipod at full volume, and a professor (?) grading papers (?) had an ongoing conversation with herself. Innnteresting.

First, I explored the Museum of the American Indian, which was incredible. The architecture and exhibition design was equally as impressive as the artifacts that were on display. Next, I made it over to the Hirshhorn museum, which housed a variety of sculptures and modern art. One of the artists shipped glass boxes to himself within the standard fed-ex cardboard boxes, and displayed the resulting broken glass. Unfortunately, the general public didn’t seem to recognize this as a piece of sculpture (it did honestly look like the curators accidentally forgot their packages in the middle of the floor that morning), and kept walking too close to the art, continuously setting off the security sensor. A lovely soundtrack to my perusing...At this point the sky opened up into a full-on downpour, and I was stuck in the museum a bit longer than I had planned for, as I didn’t think in the 90 degree heat that morning to pack and umbrella. At right: the most alarming sculpture: a giant disgruntled nude man (stranger included in shot for scale).

After I toured the Museum of African Art and the Freer gallery, I did a quick look-see into the Smithsonian Castle and then called it quits. After eight museums in two days, I had to admit museum burnout.

DC: Adventures in the Big City

DC, Day 1

After a delicious breakfast of gluten-free blueberry muffins, Rachel took me to go see the sights. She guided me through the metro, and we walked along the National mall to see the Washington monument, the WWII memorial, the Lincoln memorial, and the white house. It was fun to see everything in real life (as you may have heard, the white house is a lot smaller than you’d expect. Still really cool, though.) Am including another one of my favorite terrible landmark shots: We asked a passerby to take a pic with us in front of the Washington Monument (see right...thanks, dude. I'm sure Rach appreciates her new hair accessory). Later, like true city girls, we had sushi for dinner.

DC, Day 2

Took the bus with Rachel to her work and she pointed me in the direction of the Smithsonian museums. Walking from the bus stop, I quickly discovered that to step into a crosswalk when the walk sign is on is to take your life into your own hands. Cars don’t stop. Ever. In fact, they will honk at YOU, leaning out the window, flipping you off and cussing at you for the very AUDACITY you had to cross the street at the right time. (Can you tell I’m extremely disturbed by this custom?) I darted like a rabbit across every street I came to, hoping I wouldn’t be picked off by the SUV that couldn’t wait 15 seconds for the light to change. Having escaped with my life, I started my sightseeing with the Museum of American History, spending a few hours looking at all kinds of artifacts, from serious and significant (the original Star-Spangled Banner) to serious and creepy (the bloodstained cuff of the actress who held Lincoln after he was shot) to just plain random (the original Kermit the frog. oh, Kermie!!). At left: Judy Garland's ruby slippers.

Ate a boiled egg and a granola bar on my way to the National Museum of Art. (No way was I going to spring for the $10 hot dogs or ice cream that were being hawked along the way!) These museums are just so vast that I didn’t even bother getting a map. My plan of action was as follows: wander in a vaguely left-and-back direction, then wander back in a right-front-ish kind of way. Saw pre-Renaissance Italian art, classic Dutch paintings, and a lot of Impressionists. Sorry, am about to art-geek out on everyone, but I saw: Gauguins, Vermeers, Cassats, Goyas, Winslow Homers, Van Goghs, the fauves, It was a lot of art to absorb, and that was only the West building! Crossed over to the East building, and was promptly reprimanded for sipping my water bottle in the lobby. (My bad, I might have spilled filtered water onto your lobby floor.) Visited my college (paper) buddies Warhol, Thiebauld, Matisse, Katz, Mondrian, Caulder, and Pollock.

After this artfest, I darted my way a few blocks up and found the National Portrait Gallery. Equally amazing. Could spend years in the museums here, but Rachel was about to get off work and happy hour was calling...

Kentucky-West Virginia--Maryland--DC

Not much to report from this drive. A lot more green. Passed through “Wild and Wonderful West Virginia” whose main industry, judging by the smell, is coal mining. The billboards, however, would have you believe that golf is the main attraction here. As neither really appeal to me, I only stopped once, in a town called Chimneyville or something like that, for gas, and then cruised right through.

I saw my first little “East-coasty” town in Maryland and have to admit may have been a tiny bit culture shocked to see so many buildings next to each other, after the sparseness of Kansas, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, and West Virginia. My grip on the steering wheel tightened considerably entering DC, what with quadruple the amount of cars I was used to quadruply close together at quadruple the speed I thought should have been appropriate for the situation. I was really afraid of being honked at, but the guy behind me leaned on his horn because I chose not to run down a family with a baby in a stroller that chose to cross the street on my green light, I realized that being honked at in the city would be inevitable, unless I felt like committing manslaughter.

I somehow found a parking spot fairly close to my step-sister Rachel’s house, and found that I had inadvertently timed my arrival perfectly with a bbq/party that she and her seven housemates were having. I lugged in my bags, was handed a cold beer and a veggie burger, and forgot all about being honked at.

DRIVIN' KENTUCKY

After leaving the farm, I took a minor detour through Metropolis, Illinois: Home of the Giant Superman Statue. (I mean, really, how could you pass that up?) It was everything I’d hoped it’d be: big. superman-y. I arrived just before a family with small kids and I could hear them yelping as soon as they got out of the car, “sooooooperman!!” The mom very generously offered to take my picture, and then had to spend a few minutes yelling at her kids to get out of the shot. It was great. As an added bonus, I got to see a cop lead a jailbird into the building the superman was in front of. Not lying. It seemed like they were old friends, talking and laughing, the guy in the yellow jumpsuit gesturing with his handcuffed hands...

After that, things got really boring. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say more boring than Kansas and Missouri. The parkway was lined with thick green forest, which, although it was very pretty, was the same for hours and hours and hours. Listened to a big chunk of my book on tape.

Heading for my stepsister’s best friend-and-her-husband’s house in Berea, Kentucky. She and her husband had to work late, but (even though I’ve never met them, bless their hearts), they told me where the key to their house was hidden and told me to make myself at home. My GPS was set to their address and I was looking forward to a quiet evening by myself.

After I stopped for gas in Bardstown, my GPS must have somehow reset itself, because it led me on an inadvertent tour of Kentucky’s ritziest neighborhoods. I should have realized, being the home of the Kentucky Derby, that there would be quite a few manicured green pastures with perfectly manicured painted fences and manicured horses with braided manes cantering about. I was led right into the heart of it, into a golf course community with giant mansions. At first I thought, wow, Rachel didn’t mention that her friend lives in a mansion! Then I realized that instead of saying "you've reached your destination, 123 Main St" or something like that, it had random coordinates highlighted. Stupid GPS.

The house, once I found it, was very cute. I met their somewhat psychotic cat Smokey right away, and he fluctuated between mewing sweetly and rubbing my leg to snapping without warning and sinking his claws into my calves and feet. He followed me into every room, even the bathroom, and (to my dismay) apparently knew how to open the bathroom door from the outside. Unsettling. I learned to lock it whenever I went in.

Beyond the cat issue, I slept very well, and unfortunately had to leave early in the morning to get to DC before dark. I never got to meet Rachel's friend at all! :( Many thanks for letting me stay there, Vivian!

PHARM PHOTOS...

oops, forgot to include a few winning shots:

proof that i drove a tractor, and my lovely hosts!

MISCELLANEOUS FARM ADVENTURES

I was on the farm for a total of seven days, and in that time managed to accomplish too many adventures to recount in detail. A quick overview of new experiences includes driving the tractor, herding errant escaped calves back into the fenced pasture, holding a chicken, peeking in on baby barn owls nesting in the barn, and touring the nearby Heron pond, a swamp complete with Cypress knees, water snakes, and angry crawdads (one accosted Sharon and I as we hiked in, waving his big claw around like he knew how to use it! Fortunately he was barely three inches tall...)

I also got to see the nearby town of Cairo (pronounced Cay-roh...) where the Mississippi river meets the Ohio river. The town used to be a hoppin’ place in the early 20th century, but race riots in the 1970’s brought the town to near ruin. Bob and Sharon pointed out the bullet holes in the police station and courthouse, and then proceeded to try to find Cairo’s hospital, which, newly built in the 70’s, was completely abandoned after the riots. As if the bullet holes and entire city blocks of abandoned and broken buildings weren’t enough to give me goosebumps, the sun was setting fast and my hosts showed no signs of turning back. We ended up cruising the projects of Cairo after dark, lost, and searching for this abandoned hospital and a place called the Magnolia Mansion. (Queue high-pitched screechy violin music here...I was pretty sure we weren’t going to make it out of Cairo.) Once located, I took quick pictures out of the car window of the dark, overgrown buildings and we set off back home. Unfortunately, a decision was made to detour to the national cemetery nearby. Normally, I’d be all for a tour of our nation’s historical dead, but as it was nearing 10pm and I still hadn’t eaten dinner, and it was pitch black outside, I have to admit I was pretty bummed about this impromptu cemetery visit. It was so dark, in fact, that we couldn’t read the giant plaque at the entrance of the graves. I took a flash picture of it and read it on my camera screen, and to my great relief, it stated “No visitors after sundown”. Phew! We turned around and went home. Below: The great confluence: Sharon sights the Ohio; I've found the Mississippi. The haunted hospital (?) and the graveyard sign. *I had to photoshop the hospital pic a bit just so you could make out the building!

A final adventure on the farm included a hike through the neighbor’s property to see a Native American cave painting. Although it was buggier beyond belief (I swear these guys were targeting my eyeballs) it was really cool to see the painting. I think I found a piece of an arrowhead in the rocks around it, too. Bonus!

THE FAILED HIKE

The second day on the farm, Sharon told me about a nearby hike that I should try. Despite a semi-creepy name (The Panther’s Den), it sounded fun. I got a little apprehensive when she pulled out a topographical map and pointed out which squiggly lines I should hike to, and even more nervous when she handed me a compass to help me get there. But: you can’t not have an adventure if you need a compass to get where you’re going!

Back in the matrix, I drove slowly along the country roads looking for the entrance to the hike. I actually drove past the little dirt road the first time, because the road sign was overgrown. Down the dirt road, turned onto a smaller, rockier dirt road, until I came to a downed tree in the middle. Bah! I got out to survey the situation and was immediately swarmed with all manner of bugs. I had to scramble for my Off! and gave myself a pretty generous dosing (who knows what those chemicals do long term? I might develop a third eye on my neck by the end of this buggy adventure). My battle of even budging the tree an inch was lost miserably. I managed to break off a few twigs but definitely battled for the right-of-way in vain. At this point I re-evaluated the distance from the ditch on the side of the road and squeeked the matrix around it. I found the forlorn, empty “parking lot” Sharon had spoke of, and looked for the unmarked trailhead she recommended, but could feel the panic rising being so far away from anywhere, down random, tree-blocked dirt roads in the middle of a southern Illinois forest. There was a sign near one of the trail heads, so as a compromise between being a brave trail-blazer and a brave trail-follower, I set off down that one.

As I tromped off down the trail, I made sure I had my compass, my map, water, a granola bar, my camera, my pocket knife, and my cell phone (though I had no reception, so moot point) at the ready. Sharon had briefed me on wildlife in the area, which included three kinds of poisonous snakes: rattlesnakes, copperheads, and cottonmouths (oh my!). I developed a weird sort of stompy-walk to scare away anything before I got there. I also walked into about 15 spiderwebs before I picked up a stick and started swirling the air in front of me to clear them before my face did. Now I was stompy-walking and stick-swirling and I’m sure I looked beyond ridiculous. In addition to my fears of deadly snakes, spiders on my face, mosquito-borne diseases (did I mention the constant hum of skeeters hoovering around me, just waiting for me to sweat off my off?), I also started fearing an encounter with a trucker-cap wearing, three-toothed, malt liquor-swigging, bowie-knife wielding local after seeing an abandoned campfire spot littered with beer cans. As each fear came to me I told myself to buck up and keep going, but at a certain point (yeah...um...15 minutes in? I didn’t last long!) I gave up, turned around, and practically ran back to my car. (Oh, and ran into all the spiderwebs AGAIN on the way back, those suckers waste no time in rebuilding!) (see top photo, I snapped a quick pic before I turned tail...)

This makes for a tidy, dramatic ending of my hike story, but I can’t leave out the following two events: First, I actually did see a snake crossing the dirt road in front of me (eeeeeew but cool but eeeeew--and it was just a black snake, no rattles or cotton or copper). Secondly, I helped a little old turtle cross the road. Good deed for the day: done.

THE FARM June 21 +

Southern Illinois is gorgeous. Rolling hills, green everywhere, fields of wheat that look like golden ocean. My destination, the farm, is owned by my cousin’s uncle Bob and his wife Sharon. They raise beef (I feel a bit rude visiting and not being red-meat eater). In addition to their 24 head of cattle or so, they have five horses (Tica, Toomba, OT, Roco, and Maya), a seeing-eye donkey named Pancho (to help guide a blind horse who has since passed), two dogs (Chrysler and Pluto), a bunch of cats (Bajadhour, Gibahn, Chicken, and Bob for starters), a few roosters (Rush, Sweatpants), bunch of chickens (no namers), Guinea hens (all are called “Guinea”), a small flock of crested ducks (only one is named: Circumstance)...I think I got it all. Below: a mishmash of farminals.

The farm is fun! I get to help out with chores like collecting eggs from the hen house, feeding the ducks, watering the cattle, and feeding the horses. I helped participate in horse-washing, which actually also includes horse-squeegee-ing. No joke. The weather here is extremely hot, hanging around the 90s everyday, which inevitably has lead to a few pond-swims. Unfortunately, the pond itself is so hot that it’s not too much of a reprieve. After a particularly hot day, Sharon and I swam in the evening before chores. As there was practically no difference between the water temperature and the outside temperature, we didn’t bother putting on clothes again to finish up on the farm...which lead to the first (and hopefully last) time I shoveled manure in a horse pen in my bikini and tennis shoes. (And no, I didn’t document this last event with a photo.)

Other notable farm tidbits: their neighbor grows tomatoes in a field that runs along the driveway. As a measure against the deer, he plays Christian talk radio 24/7, so when things are quiet in the middle of the day, you can hear faint voices. We’ve decided that he could market those tomatoes as “infused with family values”...talk about genetically engineered crops!

SOON TO COME...

Hey All,
Wow, it's been a long time since I've had internet and time to write at the same time. I'm finally finding my way out of the cornfields and am preparing for a blizzard of updates, but until then, for those of you who still think I'm somewhere in Illinois, a few highlights from what's to come:

-drivin' tractors, washin' horses, and herdin' calves in Illinois

-Museum madness and matrix security breach in DC

-crab eating lessons in Baltimore

-Potentially superdangerous wildlife encounter in Shenendoah National Park (I've got video of this one! A must-see...)

-Croquet playing with an Elvis impersonator and his family in North Carolina

-Staying in tree houses and brushing up on ukulele in Georgia

-Pancakes with my name on 'em (literally) at the Pirate Haus Hostel in Florida

-Camping at the #1 beach in the US


Stay tuned for the full updates folks! Sorry for the lag!

LAWRENCE KANSAS-- CARBONDALE, ILLINOIS

The upside of car camping in Kansas in the summer is that you don’t wake up freezing cold. Instead, it was a balmy 78 degrees with a light breeze that made for an extremely pleasant morning. The light was beautiful and the campsite had these big patches of very picturesque tall grasses (very "Kansas" in my mind). I couldn't resist a self-timed shot of myself frolicking in the meadow, but the distance was pretty good between a camera set-up and the grass, so I had to full on sprint to get in the shot. Even then, I'm barely in the frame, but I'm not in good enough shape to do multiple retakes... I had a little breakfast, repacked, and took off towards Missouri.

I gassed up in Lawrence and had my first gas station faux pas, although I maintain it was a result of faulty equipment and not human error. As I lifted the nozzle from it’s handle to the car, it shot a spontaneous burst of gasoline all over the side of my car!! Waaaaah. I had to clean it all up and the first half an hour of my drive smelled bad.

Again, the book on tape; I can’t tell you much about the drive from the gas station to the Missouri border. I passed through the childhood home of Dwight D. Eisenhower and of some astronaut I had never heard of. I saw the Gateway arch from a while away and got really exited. It’s really, really big up close. Way bigger than I expected. Which made it pretty impossible to get a good picture with it, actually. I decided to ask somebody else to get a shot for me, and the resulting photo was such a failure it is hilarious. I just thanked the guy and walked away, but I guess I should have clarified I'd like a picture of myself with the Gateway Arch, which I was conveniently standing in front of. Yeah, that silver thing in the background...I really didn't need a picture of me and sidewalk. Anyway. I also had no idea you could actually take an elevator up into it!! Had to skip that, though...no time to stand in THAT line.

I will say that Missouri has really terrible billboards. One of my personal favorites: Don’t just be a person, be a personality!! (for broadcaster positions). ...Also, there are several warning signs about slowing down in construction sites, although the presentation is a little disconcerting; they all say HIT A WORKER really big, and then $10,000 fine underneath. It seems more like an invitation, doesn’t it? It’s not IF you hit a worker, or DONT hit a worker. But hitting a worker seems like it would be a really really bad thing anyway--do people really need signs to be discouraged from this?

Missouri also has its share of pro-life billboards, but somewhat paradoxically, they have an equal amount, if not more, of XXX adult superstore billboards. Go figure.

Missouri wildlife sightings: dead armadillos on the side of the road.

Culturally: confederate flag license plates and “OBAMA: One Big Ass Mistake, America” bumper stickers. Also passed through the home of David Cook, American Idol winner 2008 (no, I don’t watch the show or care, and yes, this was on an actual highway sign--this town must be really desperate for some action).

Made it to my dad's sister's husband's brother-and-his-wife's farm (follow? from here on out I'll just call them Bob and Sharon...). So much to report from farm life it'll have to have it's own entry, soon to follow...

ON THE ROAD: PARKER, CO--LAWRENCE, KS

Set off from Parker to Kansas fairly uneventfully. Windy, hilly roads through small towns and countryside...nothing much to report. (Left, a standard sample of my view for hours.) I’ve started my book on tape, which has a somewhat hypnotic effect on me, and although I can drive safely, I zone out. Hit a storm before the Kansas border and, unfortunately, ended up driving with it for hours. Picture a dark raincloud over my car only. I was really paranoid about tornadoes (well, duh, I was in Kansas right? I’ve seen the Wizard of Oz enough to know what goes on out there!) so I had to turn off my book on tape and scan the local radio for weather reports. As it was perfectly normal and safe storm (and not the doom-storm I was making it out to be), the weather was not reported frequently, so this resulted in my listening to the entire radio dial scanned for at least half an hour (think 15 second snippets of every country song known to man and throw in a 15 second bible lecture between every two or three of them). Kansas also has more pro-life billboards than I’ve ever seen in my life. Every few miles there’s a huge picture of a blonde, blue-eyed baby with sayings like “God knows their souls before they’re born” and “Did you know babies can smile before they’re born?” I would venture to say they are more frequent than fast food signs here. That, and the billboards and graffiti that simply state “JESUS IS REAL”.

In the animal department, Kansas apparently has a lot to offer, including a 5 legged steer, a 6 legged cow, and the world’s largest prarie dog, weighing in at 800 lbs. I would have been temped to see the latter, but was tipped off before I left that it is a stuffed animal and not worth the time. Of the animal life I did see, the most exciting was a spikey-looking turtle preparing to cross the road. Long neck and tail....I actually thought it was an iguana from a distance. Poor guy is probably no longer with us, as there were many cars behind me, and I doubt he had the manuerverability and speed to cross safely.

My bit of good luck for the day came when I realized I was about to get on a toll road (and after my Colorado experience, I avoid these like the plague). I blindly exited without a plan and tried to get myself to a place where I could study the map...and somehow wound up at a scenic highway that led straight to Lawrence, my destination for the night! No toll AND a view... bonus!

My bad luck, which followed immediately, was to get really, really lost in Lawrence trying to find Clinton Lake State Park, where I wanted to camp for the night. At least an hour was spent circling, doubling back, and asking strangers until I was finally on the right track, losing daylight quickly. I set up camp around 8:30 and used my brand new stove to heat up some water for a noodle bowl.

I never thought I would appreciate the bitter cold temps of Yellowstone car camping, but I have decided it’s much harder to fall asleep in hot, muggy cars with the windows rolled up (on account of the bugs). Around midnight I decided something had to be done and pulled out my roll of duct tape to McGuiyver a bug screen over the window so I could sleep with the window rolled down. Version #3 worked best, using my pillowcase duct taped to the ceiling, side doors, and the door itself. Worked rather nicely. (see right. yes, I took a picture, I was damn proud of my resourcefulness at midnight!)

THAT COSTA RICA THING...

Andy and Jenny invited their friends to go on their honeymoon with them. They want to rent a little villa and surf for a week in Puerto Viejo (Caribbean side, near the Panamanian border). They found pretty cheap tickets, and so, after mulling it over for a few days (yeah, what a hard decision huh?) I hopped on board. Only a bit scary after I found out I was the only friend who had bought tickets (aw, just the three of us!), but have since found out there’s at least one other couple going. Fifth wheel can’t be too bad, if you’re beach-bumming around in Costa.
We've reached a point where nicknames have evolved: Toona, Boop, and Droop do Castlewood Canyon. Next stop: Puerto Viejo!

As I have made this spontaneous travel plan in the middle of my already spontaneous traveling plan, I haven’t had to adjust too much. I’ve got to make it to the east coast, down through the south, and back up to Denver before the end of July (the cheapest flight left from Denver anyway...). So, back to the road...

THE WEDDING

The night before the big day, Andy and Jenny stayed up late writing their vows. I searched for airline tickets to Costa Rica at the table as well(a spontaneous decision, more on this later), and served as the third party for veto-ing or approving phrases for the bride and groom (among phrases vetoed: you are the peanut butter in my pb & j...although it would have been very cute). At almost the stroke of midnight, they finished the vows and I clicked the “purchase now” button, and we all went to bed.

I was awoken the next morning by Andy running into my room and jumping on the bed, saying “Get up! get up! It’s my wedding day!!”. This story is now infamous, as Auntie Kris was standing by and relayed the story over the phone to my mom, who got all emotional over it and now it has become the morning mom cried over the way Andy woke me up.

Jenny has got to be the most calm bride there ever was. I think I was more nervous than she was, because I had been chosen to do her hair and if I messed up, it would be thoroughly documented in all the wedding pictures and passed on to her children and children’s children and one day, a distant relative will say “wow, she’s beautiful, but what kind of a hack did her hair?”. So you see the pressure here.
I accompanied Jenny to her mom’s house to assist with her preparations. Which was pretty much nothing; she took a shower, we sniffed some body lotions to decide what was best, and then we sat out on the porch in the sun to let her hair air dry while we sipped some wine, ate blueberries, and did the crossword puzzle. We got intermittent calls from the rest of the wedding party; quick, out of breath cell phone reports on the status of the preparations elsewhere: of the rest of the family, stressed and sweaty and running around setting up at the spot, the emergency bee-exterminator call, the flowers, the table settings. When they asked how Jenny and I were doing, I told them that she was starting to stress out too, and that we were working to calm her down and get everything ready. Then I hung up the phone and we laughed and poured a little more wine... (sorry fam! the truth comes out...)
(Above, just hours away from the wedding, we're clearly stressing out...)

The ceremony was beautiful. The weather, which had been looking really threatening, cleared up just in time for the outdoor event. Jenny’s brother Dave and I served as best man/lady and managed not to trip on the walk to the front (success!) I have to admit I almost lost my composure when a bird sitting on a tree above the officiator pooped and narrowly, NARROWLY missed his shoulder. I think only Dave and I saw it, and we looked at each other and I almost burst out laughing. Jenny and Andy told me later the officiator also had a huge mosquito on his forehead the whole time, getting fatter and fatter, but they couldn’t very well slap his face as he gave a speech about love at their wedding.

Andy’s dad Steve and his uncle Bob played a guitar/mandolin duet of a Beatles song which was beautiful. Steve’s guitar strap broke in the middle of the song but he caught it before it fell, barely missing a beat. I think that made the performance that much more amazing.

The reception was great; dancing, food, australian horseshoes and games of cornhole and croquet... a lovely night and a huge success. (Unfortunately, in all the hubub of preparations and whatnot, I left my camera upstairs the entire time, so I can’t post pics!) And for the record: her hair stayed put all night! What a gorgeous bride :)

REUNITED: Denver, CO

(For those of you who are up to date on my travels, I apologize for the lagging posts...but I'm working on it!)

My quick story of the day here begins a long time ago, all the way back to my time as a Westlake Elementary Wildcat. I was best friends with a girl named Kate, and we used to tromp around the woods behind UCSC family student housing together, climb trees, and make obstacle courses for her pet rat. When she moved away in fourth grade, we decided to carry on our friendship via pen-palmanship. Surprisingly, somehow, we have remained pen pals (the old-fashioned, snail-mail type, even in this age of the internet) for some 15 odd years! Despite the fact that she has been teaching physics in Micronesia for the past year, we figured out we'd both be in Denver at the same time! (Okay, so a little internet was invloved...but still!) We had a lovely coffee and lunch catch-up session before she had to hop on a bus to the airport.Above, Kate and I. We hadn't seen each other for at least 12 years!

A CLOSE CALL: Denver, CO

Driving across the country has resulted in a somewhat unnatural relationship between myself and my trusty little matrix. As it is basically my little house on wheels, I get a little anxious when I can't see it, or have to park it on a traffic-prone street. Denver has been especially taxing on this neurotic tendency, as my cousin lives on a pretty busy area. Recently he convinced me I could park it on a side street, where I can't run to the window and check on it. I was very reluctant, but he assured me over and over that nothing would happen to it. The weather turned super stormy that night and the next morning I got a call from Andy, who had left for work early. He had passed my car and wanted to tell me that it was okay before I came upon the scene: traffic cones surrounding my car, and not two inches behind, a giant fallen branch. Had I backed up even a foot more, poor little matrix would have suffered a mighty blow.

June: Sounds of Parker

Wedding fast approaching; days have been spent sewing pearls onto the veil, designing the seating chart, getting hair accessories for the bride, and playing ukulele with my grandmother. Not much time for a full blog update, but wanted to share what Parker sounds like at night. Wildlife points to anyone who can identify what animal sounds are filling the canyon behind the house (and sometimes underneath my bedroom window!) in the following clip. Hint: It doesn't have feathers.

MAY 27: CASTLEWOOD CANYON

Andy and Jenny came down from Denver today and took me bouldering in Castlewood Canyon. Really fun...you're not as high up, but you don't have a rope, either. Instead you pack in these big packs of crash pads (see left) to set up below the rock in case you fall. So much fun to watch these two climb, but when it came to be my turn, I think I set new records in awkwardness. I found that one of the hardest parts of bouldering is actually getting back down again! I spent a lot of time hugging rock.































































Luckily, I improved a bit with practice, and by the end of the day I had climbed a V1 problem! (see above: how do I get down now?)

MAY 26+ LIFE IN PARKER

I'm being a super slug about updating blogs...
Life in Parker is nice and mellow, doing painting and reading with Auntie Kris. On Wednesdays she babysits for her art teacher's children, Ella and Sam. I'm not much help here; Ella cries simply when I walk into the room, apparently because I have dark hair (her entire family is blonde...). So, that always starts us off on the right foot. Sam, who is 3, is obsessed with the letter W. He carries a foam W around and shows it to everybody and is also a whiz at spelling. He arranges his foam alphabet into various 3-letter words. As a joke, his dad asked him to spell butterfly. Sam looked up and said 'no dad, we don't have two T's'. Scary smart kid.

I posed for photos that Kris is going to use in her new paintings. Lots of wardrobe changes...including my pajamas, three different wedding dresses, a sarong, and a raincoat. Interested to see how the paintings come out...

I've also been helping Kris teach her kid's art class. The biggest challenge has turned out to be not lesson planning, but keeping the conversation less Britney Spears and more Frida Kahlo. We'll be doing self portraits soon... should be interesting.

Bolder Boulder operations continue to impress me; I just got an email with a link to all the photos that were taken of me during the race. Too cheap to actually buy any, but pulled the copyrighted images to at least prove I ran...and that I had a huge goofy grin on my face the entire time! An example:

MAY 25 BOLDER BOULDER

I survived another 10k race! The Bolder Boulder 10k is the second largest road race in the nation--over 50,000 people ran! It made for some crazy logistical planning...due to massive road closures and limited parking, I had to drive up to Boulder the night before and stay with my cousin's fiancee's brother-and-his-girlfriend (Dave and Julie)'s friends. Follow that? I showed up at the house around 10pm, it went something like "hi nice to meet you, thanks for letting me sleep on your couch, goodnight." They lived in a super key location; the race actually was routed on either side of their street so I could walk to the start line. A crazy scene--people raced in heats according to their pace, starting with heat AA...I was in heat MP. Yeah. Equal amounts of really serious runners as those wearing gorilla suits, grass skirts, and superhero costumes (see Dave and Julie in thier race getup, below). The race was lined with tons of bands, a trampoline crew, elderly belly dancers, people handing out beer to runners, a slip-n-slide station, bbqs....Basically a six-mile long party, that finished in the CU football stadium. I wish I could have brought my camera, but I really didn't want to run with it. In the end, I ran almost the exact same time as my Montana 10k. (Wah! I sort of trained for this one! I'll blame the altitude and the fact I had to dodge and weave the crowds.) The official results: I got 291st out of 581 in my division, and 8775th out of 26182 women. I may go pro soon, with numbers like that.

Finishers of the race got a free goody bag and beer, and we sat in the stadium to watch other finishers and a team of competitive jump-ropers perform in the middle of the stadium (random?). Met with Dave and Julie and collected free samples of food at the promotional tents. Just as I had filled my bag with pounds of giveaway nutrition bars, etc, and we prepared for the mile walk back to the house, it began to thunder loudly and pour rain. After running 6 point something miles, I had to run another mile back in rain so heavy I could barely see--and carrying my bowling ball of a snack bag too! Exhaustion. Below: Made it back to the house soaking wet, but happy!

MAY 23 DENVER/PARKER CO

I attended my first bridal shower today, thrown by Jenny's aunt Pat. Felt fairly out of place. Had to rescue the ladies confused and daunted by the task of opening a champagne bottle for mimosas (um, excuse me, I'm sorry, you really shouldn't use a corkscrew...)
It was a tightly run ship--I got busted for talking with my drink in hand (if I gestured with my cup, there was a slight risk of spillage on carpet!) and was consequently the only bridal shower guest relegated to, whenever speaking, having to place her cup on a mini-tv table set brought in and set up just for me. Slightly humiliating.
I was also appointed the gift-hander-over-person when I sat too close to the wedding gifts. The bride-to-be received a serving platter, shower curtain rings, and about 6 hot pink striped victoria's secret boxes, the contents of which I'm fairly sure were shocking and quite scandalous to a few in attendance (namely, those that gave the serving platter and shower curtain rings). Below: Jenny super stoked on that platter.

Later in the day, attended another milestone soiree: the high school graduation party of a distant cousin I didn't know I had! I got to see my favorite New York-Italian relatives George and Ann. I'm not quite sure how we're related exactly, I think they might be cousins of my grandparents. Regardless, they make me feel closer to my Italian roots. A lot of squeezing hugs, cheek-pinching, hand-holding, proclamations of how Italian! I look, encouragement to eat the pasta dishes they made, and when she was across the room, Ann would wave at me with one little finger. Before I left, George hugged me and gruffly proclaimed, "have a wohn-duh-ful life." Love it!

MAY 22 BOULDER/DENVER CO

Woke up this morning to preparations for huevos rancheros, including made-from-scratch refried beans. I don't have to tell you how delicious those were. Or why I had seconds. Or why that was a bad idea (coughCrohnscough). Worth it though.
Returned to Denver midday, meaning to go on a training run for the upcoming 10k I'll be running, but somehow kept procrastinating. Jenny and I finally pulled it together to go for a run in the evening, but we decided to kill two birds with one stone by running our errands at the same time (i.e., run to the video store and grocery store). Oh, and we accepted the margaritas the neighbors offered us shortly before we left. Clearly I'm really serious about training.

We must have looked pretty funny, jogging around downtown Denver with a movie in hand. At one point, a fire engine pulled up at the stoplight we were waiting at and the firefighters waved at us and asked what movie it was. Pretty glad we had decided to go with a James Bond movie over the cheesy chick flick! Also picked up applesauce at the store for dinner. I'm pretty positive no one else is training by running the neighborhood with applesauce and dvds.

MAY 20/21 DENVER/BOULDER CO.

Ice-cold coronas on a hot evening followed by a sweet concert at the Bluebird Theater in Denver with Jenny and friends. Joe Pug opened for Horsefeathers. Pretty cool indie-folk band--they've got guitar, cello, violin, banjo--and at one point, a saw was played. The crowd wore a lot of plaid, and were the types to wear retro horn-rimmed eyeglasses without prescriptions (I know because this individual was part of our crowd; have to admit I gave them a pretty hard time for wearing fake glasses as an accessory, but then again I'm new to the indie-folk fashion scene.)

The next morning off to Boulder for Jenny's bachelorette party! We met up with two of her friends (both nurses, like Jenny), and went bouldering at "the Spot", an indoor climbing gym. Fun climbing with a group of super strong girls. They all helped me find routes I could do (and not do--I ended up with quite a few chalk hand prints on my back and butt from the girls helping me reach holds I couldn't get too...). Learning the terms of climbing--like when you've been climbing for a while and your forearms get "pumped" (really tight) and your veins kind of stick out. Really funny that I was with a bunch of nurses at this point--they all took turns looking at my arms and discussing how easy it would be to do an IV on me. Noooo thank you.

We went out to dinner on Pearl Street in Boulder--found a place with "bottomless wine glasses" for $5. We sat, ate, and drank for hours. It was quite lovely, and you would have never known it was a bachelorette party save for Jenny's hot pink tiara and inappropriately shaped necklace (I won't elaborate, but she made several attempts to hide it over the course of the night.) Before heading home, we stopped at one more bar and had a few neon green shots. (Not a super good idea, but the bartender was a friend of theirs, and our tab after a few rounds was $4, total.)
We made it home safely, and after a huge plate of nachos, fell asleep.

MAY 16-17-18 Denver, CO

Have been in Denver the past few days with my cousin Andy and his fiancee Jenny. So fun! Frisbee in the Cheesman park, hiking in Boulder, breakfast burritos, and climbing adventures.
Andy and I did a hike on Saturday in Boulder canyon scouting a bouldering site he wants to come back and climb. Unfortunately, we totally misread the directions and hiked for 5 or 6 miles in the wrong direction. Fun anyway, and good views (see below).

On Monday morning, Andy and Jenny and I met their friend Karl at the local coffee shop, St. Mark's. Jenny and I worked on the crossword puzzle over coffee and chai and almost finished it! (Only a few squares off--nobody knew a 5 letter word for "Norse poem", although everyone at the table contributed a few guesses in viking accents.) Afterwards, it was off to the county courthouse to get their marriage license. Karl and I went along as witnesses, although we proved useless as they aren't required. We were just glorified photographers, but it was fun anyway. (See below: the formal wedding party.)


License to wed secured, we set off to climb in Clear Creek Canyon, which is right outside of Golden, CO. I wish I could write an entry about how calm and collected and what an expert climber I turned out to be, but it wouldn't be true and it wouldn't be as funny as my real-life chicken adventure. Although I won't officially declare myself afraid of heights, I'm not a huge fan of being really far up on a cliff above a freeway and a rushing river.

I tried to play it cool, but I'm pretty sure my hardcore climbing cousins and friends saw right through me, as they literally had to hold my hand on the mountain goat-like trail up to the base of the climb. Our base camp was just steep enough that I almost felt more comfortable when I was on the rock with a rope because at least I was secured! We climbed a 5.7 difficulty route, for those of you who speak climberese. The very beginning of the climb had an overhang, so (although I really shouldn't divulge everything but I will), once I reached it I was helped up and over it by Jenny who was belaying me. The rest of the climb wasn't too bad if I kept my eyes on the rock. At one point they told me to enjoy the view, so I turned around and looked down, and then started sweating and almost threw up. So I didn't enjoy the view anymore. But--I made it up to the top, and that's what counts, right?

Watching Andy and Jenny climb was amazing. They are so collected and graceful and brave! Very inspiring. Jenny leading a climb on left, Look closely for Andy on right. He's up there.