Tina Treks '09

UP CLOSE AND BEARSONAL

2009-10-17T11:46:00.000-07:00

Finally, the long-promised star story of my trip thus far...

After an uneventful night at Quickmunk, I woke and began planning my first full day in Shenendoah. After cross-referencing three different travel guides and maps, I decided on doing a waterfall hike, listed as a "don't-miss" in all my sources. My hopes fell, however, as I pulled into the parking lot. It was packed, and a pair of whiny kids sat at the trailhead yelling to each car that pulled in, "Turn aroooound! Dooooon't go! it's toooo haaaaaaaaaard." Their father stood by, all but encouraging his childrens' public service announcements. He, too, warned an older couple approaching the trailhead of the perils they were about to encounter. He had a thick accent; I can't place it, but if I had to guess I'd say Transylvania. He had this vampire-chuckle going on too (like Count Chocula): "Dent go dar, ah. ah. ah. On scale of ten I vuld rate it meybey eight, ah. ah. ah." What made it all the more funny was the fact he was wearing a shirt that read 'SHENENDOAH: The Mountains Are Calling, I Must Hike'. I ignored them, but sat in my car to gather my things and watched as people emerged from the trailhead in the woods sweaty and complaining. I would have been concerned, but from the looks of it, most of these people probably get sweaty and complain crossing a grocery store parking lot. In fact, it looked a lot like a Disneyland on a summer weekend to me. Ugh.

All this led to my decision to unpack some stuff from my backpack to make it lighter, taking out things I wouldn't need on a hike in Disneyland: stuff like my cannister of trusty ol' bear spray.

I passed through the gauntlet of loud, lazy kids and found myself on a beautiful little path following a creek down the hillside. Ok, so it was a little steep, but it definitely didn't warrant the warnings. It took about ten minutes to get to the waterfall, and there were dozens of families and hikers playing in the water, taking pictures, and having lunch. It was nice, but not worth lingering around by myself. I had budgeted way more time for this hike, so instead of turning around, I followed a fire road at the base of the waterfall to another, smaller trailhead called Rose Creek Falls.

It was a gorgeous day, and Shenendoah was blissfully green. The trail followed alongside a bubbling little creek, with little waterfalls and pools along the way. I hadn't seen anyone on the trail for a good ten minutes when I ran into a couple of hikers coming my direction. We passed, smiling, and said hi and something about the weather. I turned to keep going, but as an afterthought, the woman turned and said "oh, by the way, we saw a momma bear and her cubs up there!" Oh crap. I asked them if I should turn around, but they waved it off, saying it was way far, and they were probably gone by now. They weren't concerned, so I pressed on, although I was enjoying the scenery a tiny bit less now. When I ran into two more hikers a bit later, they hadn't seen the bears, but said they had been talking so loud it probably got scared away. "Just make a lot of noise" they suggested. I kind of pointed out I didn't really have anyone to talk to...(um, duh?!), and they suggested in that case, I should hike with a bell. Thaaaanks. I'll just go pick one up at the....oh yeah, that's right. We're in the middle of the forest, I have no way of obtaining a bell unless I find one miraculously on the trail, which would probably indicated the previous owner was eaten by a bear anyway. I digress.

The problem was averted when I remembered my car keys have an emergency whistle on them. (A stocking-stuffer xmas present from years ago, when, at the time, I thought "Random. Thanks Mom. I'll stick this in a drawer and never use it." A word of advice to all 13 year olds who get emergency whistles instead of lipgloss in your stockings: keep it. You very well might need it in 11 years or so.) I took to alternately jingling my keys like a zookeeper, and lightly blowing on the whistle to make some noise. I passed more families, saw beautiful waterfalls, plants, and deer taking sips from the creek. It was so glorious. On a whim, I decided I needed to take a swim in one of the deep pools. I hiked off the trail down to the beach, and watched the trail. I hadn't seen anyone pass in 20 minutes or so, so I did a quick undie-dip. It was so perfectly refreshing. I wanted to stay, but the bear thing was still sort of on the back of my mind and I didn't really feel like getting caught in my undies by passerby. I threw on my shorts, took a quick picture to capture the moment, and hiked back up to the trail.

I was in this blissful solo-hiking-undie-dipping-nature-loving state of mind hiking back up the trail, shaking my keys occasionally in an absent-minded sort of way. I passed a couple with two golden retrievers, and lazily thinking the dogs would definitely have made enough noise to scare stuff away, I stopped my jingling for a bit and continued on.

You know when something happens and you have a great big burst of adrenaline and then later you really can't recall what happened exactly? I can't quite recall whether I actually ran into bear cub or whether it ran into me or out in front of me, but I suddenly found myself nose-to-nose with a bear cub. My thought process was something like this:

1. BEAR!
2. It's a baaaybeeeee how cuuuuuute!!
3. WHERE THE F IS IT'S MOMMY?
4. Oh, my god, it's so cuuuuuuuuute up close! Look at his widdle nose...

[At this point, the baby recovers from its shock and scales the nearest tree, peering down at me fearfully]

5. MOTHER BEARS ARE EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE ESPECIALLY IF THEY FEEL YOU HAVE FRIGHTENED THEIR BABIES UP TREES.
6. Tina, you idiot, idiot idiot. YOU TOOK YOUR BEAR SPRAY OUT OF YOUR PACK BEFORE THIS HIKE.

7. I HAVE A GOOD CHANCE OF DYING VERY SOON.

I backed away slowly, beginning to jingle my keys and lowly blowing on my whistle (Will a louder noise alert the mom that I'm here if she hasn't noticed yet? or scare her away?) I'm not sure what possessed me to do what I did next, but as I backed away, I took out my camera and filmed myself. A last record if I die, perhaps? If I survive, proof I saw a bear? I think I just really needed to talk it out, and needed something to talk to.

The clip now makes me laugh really hard. I call it my "Bear Ditch Project." (yeah, rhymes with Blair witch...in case you didn't catch it...) The subtitle is "What My Face Looks Like When I'm Scared Shitless" Because really, you don't ever make that face in the mirror.

I insist that I'm filming the bear looking at me, but all you can see is green blur of trees because my hands are shaking so hard. Also, I say there are two bear cubs in the clip. Either I was seeing double, or my memory is already failing me. hmmm....

(Sorry it's sideways, I've tried multiple times and failed to turn it the right way. Why didn't i think to film the right way at the time?! damn.)

I ended up waiting a good ways down the trail until somebody else came along, and I explained, calmly, I had just run into a bear. As my luck would have it, this hiker did not speak English. I had to mime out "bear" (claw hands, teeth bared), and he was still pretty unimpressed. I ended up following the hiker back up, and there were no signs of the bear. I'm sure he thought I was insane.

OH, SHENENDOAH

2009-09-06T15:55:00.000-07:00

In planning out the next stages of my trip in my safe haven in Maryland, I decided I needed a break from cities for awhile. I decided to get as far away from killer crosswalks and pricey street snacks as I could--and head for the largest swatch of green on my roadmap, which turned out to be Shenendoah National Park. I did eventually come to realize that perhaps Shenendoah isn't quite as remote as I had thought (it is home to "Skyline Drive"; you can actually motor through the whole park, stay in swank lodgings, and pretty much forgo the wilderness experience if you like) but it was definitely a step in the right direction.

I camped in Matthew's Arm campgrounds the first night, although I never did find out why it was called that. Due to the positive feedback to my renaming the Yellowstone spot Elk Butt, I renamed this particular site "Quickmunk", for my speedy little striped friends who made frequent laps around the car and picnic table at will. I went for an uneventful hike upon establishing my set up, wandering down one trail head that later linked to a fire road. Although there were plenty of cars and people at the campsite, I didn't see a single soul on the trail. When I hiked back into the campsite the back way, I turned and realized the 4 foot wide, cleared and maintained trail was labeled "backcountry". Hmm.

I had some mealtime entertainment back at camp, as a rowdy family of four set up a temporary picnic at the site next to Quickmunk. It was something out of a cartoon, with two hyperactive boys, a dad in an old tank top undershirt, a mom with a serious mullet, and a well-fed rottweiler, who was promptly tied to the nearest tree as mom passed out buckets of fried chicken. They first caught my attention when one of the boys yelled "duuuuuuuuuurrng, lookit THIS one!" and triumphantly held up an apparently interestingly-shaped chicken nugget. The other boy wasted no time in knocking it out of his hand and the doomed nugget was then chucked under the table. Mom witnessed this and began to cuss the boys out for attracting bears (my ears perked up at this and I realized this family fun may indeed result in attracting danger to Quickmunk. I began to ponder whether the rottweiler was a plus after all?) The boys then turned their attention to the dog, narrating its bodily functions: "Maaaaaam, Brandy's whizzing on the leash! Brandy's whizzing on the tree! Brandy's whizzing again!" I settled into my dinner, preparing for a long night of Brandy-whizzing and chicken-flinging, but luckily once the food was gone, the family packed up and drove on.

MARYLAND: THE OASIS

2009-09-06T15:28:00.000-07:00

I have to admit I was still wiping tears away as I drove out of DC with my broken window whistling on the highway. I am so grateful and lucky for Theresa, one of my mom's best friends, and her family who live in nearby Maryland for offering me a safe haven after the break in. I couldn't have asked for anything more; big hugs, hot shower, a delicious homemade dinner (with a delicious desert to top it off!--see left), and a safe driveway to park the car. They even covered my window overnight to keep animals from getting in (I never would have thought of that; I'm sure if it was up to me I'd be road tripping with a family of racoons riding shotgun).

The next morning was fix-it day. As we all know, when it rains it pours, and my cell phone decided now would be an excellent time to go on the fritz. It would only function on speakerphone mode, which is a little rude if you ask me. I managed to contact the broken-window-glass-guy who agreed to come out to the house and replace the window there, and in the meanwhile Theresa and I went out in search of a new phone. Anyone who accompanies another person while shopping for a cell phone is a saint. Especially when that person has a debilitating case of "I-hate-shopping-for-electronics-and-am-indecisive-on-top-of-that" syndrome. Thank you, Theresa.

The next fix-it was my ukulele. I realize that I neglected to report during the intense heat of the farm in Illinois, one of my uke strings popped right off! I had, up until this point, taken a hiatus from uke-ing. Luckily my gracious guardian angel host family took me to a music shop and I was able to get it re-strung! (Although this wasn't without obstacles either; the first shop we tried laughed at my "little guitar"...they had never seen a ukulele before!)

I ended up spending a few days in Maryland. We gardened, went for walks, played intense domino games, and did sight-seeing at Fort McHenry and Baltimore. I even learned how to eat blue crabs! (see right, weilding tools of the trade...) I can't possibly describe how lovely this visit was. In retrospect, I realize I was actually quite lucky to have my window broken in the first place, or I may not have gotten to spend this time with such a great family.

DC: THE TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY

2009-07-27T15:35:00.000-07:00

Woke up feeling pretty over the city, but I had planned to be in the capital for Independence Day (it seemed so appropriate for my American road trip), so I decided to grit it out for a couple more days. I had to move my car in the morning (DC has weird parking laws), so I found a place several blocks away that seemed good in front of a Children’s Health Center with a security guard out front. I set off trying to get in a better city mood, trying to find something that didn’t include museums or spending money.

After passing several embassies (can I technically say I was on Chilean and Peruvian soil today?), I stumbled upon the National Geographic Museum. I figured a free-admission air-conditioned museum is better than wandering aimlessly in the heat, so I explored it a bit. One room with lots of flashy pictures of lions and....that’s about it. Disappointing!

I vaguely remembered seeing posters for a folk-like festival on the Mall, so I hiked down to check it out. Lots of food vendors and music tents, looked pretty fun! I sat down and watched a Puerto Rican band for awhile, and during one of their most lively songs, the old man next to me asked me to dance! Unfortunately, he had no idea how to dance, but he had waited until the last minute of the song to ask me, so the awkward step-hopping he called salsa was very brief.

My mood was starting to lift, and I had just wandered into a tent full of Cuban music when I got a phone call.

The worst thing about a police officer calling you is that they always ask you right off the bat, “how are you today?” when they know they’re about to ruin your day. They told me my vehicle had been broken into and that I needed to come right away.

Thing was, I was all the way down at the Mall and my car was like 26 blocks away. I had no cash on me for a taxi, and no clue how to use the metro or the bus system. There are no Wells Fargo banks in DC, and I couldn’t figure out how to use my card in the other banks’ ATMs. The security guard from across the street had found my bags strewn in the middle of the street, and was holding them for me in his office, but got off work in 15 minutes and really wanted to go, so he kept on calling me and asking where I was. I held it together for about 10 minutes of this, but ended up trying to run the 26 blocks, sobbing, on my phone telling the guy I’d be right there, and stopping at every ATM I came across trying to get cash. It’s actually kind of funny in retrospect, I must have looked like a lunatic. Factoring in the city crosswalk situation didn’t help, and at one point, when an SUV decided to take aim for a large group of pedestrians of which I was a part of, I was so angry I walked right in front of the bumper, crying, with one hand holding my cell phone and one hand held up with my palm out, the universal STOP signal. The driver was so surprised, he and his passenger started mocking me, holding their palms back out to me, and I gave them attitude right back, pointing angrily to the WALK signal. It was all I could do not to try to dent their hood. In retrospect, I wish I did.

When I finally realized I could not run the entire way without getting a taxi, I actually went into a bank and asked for help getting cash. Lame, but I seriously needed help!
With my cash, I hailed a taxi and got to my car. Broken glass was everywhere, and all my bags had been opened and rifled through, but nothing had been taken!! I bet they were pretty disappointed, only finding a backpack full of books, a bag of size seven hiking boots, a bag of feminine hygiene products, and a glovebox with nothing but a can of bear spray (I really wish I could have seen their reaction to that!!) I was still really upset and SUPER over the city at this point, so I went back to Jessica’s, grabbed all the stuff the thieves WISH they’d gotten (my laptop etc), and headed to Baltimore, broken window and all, where my mom’s good friend Theresa lives. Game over, DC.

DC Day 4: Change of Headquarters

2009-07-27T14:59:00.001-07:00

Unfortunately, Rachel and I had terrible timing, and she had to fly home for the 4th of July. I decided to transfer my city headquarters to my good friend Jessica’s apartment, who lived in a slightly different place in the city. The timing worked out that I left Rachel’s in the morning and was due at Jessica’s in the evening, so I had another day to sightsee on my own, only this time I didn’t have a secure place to leave my valuables. I’ve been told multiple times that it is a fact my car will get broken into, so I won’t leave anything super expensive or irreplaceable in the matrix. Without an apartment to leave my laptop and gps system in, I had to pack them around the city. Let me tell you, my trusty macbook pro gets heavy FAST. And my “ergonomic” computer pack is anything but. Factor in a super-hot city day, and you get a painful, sweaty, and exhausted trekker.

That evening, I was able to move the Matrix in front of Jessica’s apartment and accompanied her and her roommate to a medical-school dinner party. I’d say about 90% of the vocabulary they used went straight over my head (Yeah, I’ve got O.B. in the A.M. with G.L.S. and then H.T.Y. later....) (okay, I made that up, but that’s what it sounded like!) Fun none-the-less, and the food was good. Thanks J-Ro!

DC: Day 3

2009-07-27T14:33:00.001-07:00

I went back for Smithsonian museums, round two. This time, I braved the metro all by myself! I have come to the (surely unfair and biased) conclusion that people in DC like to talk to themselves, judging solely on my fellow passengers: a man sang along with his ipod at full volume, and a professor (?) grading papers (?) had an ongoing conversation with herself. Innnteresting.

First, I explored the Museum of the American Indian, which was incredible. The architecture and exhibition design was equally as impressive as the artifacts that were on display. Next, I made it over to the Hirshhorn museum, which housed a variety of sculptures and modern art. One of the artists shipped glass boxes to himself within the standard fed-ex cardboard boxes, and displayed the resulting broken glass. Unfortunately, the general public didn’t seem to recognize this as a piece of sculpture (it did honestly look like the curators accidentally forgot their packages in the middle of the floor that morning), and kept walking too close to the art, continuously setting off the security sensor. A lovely soundtrack to my perusing...At this point the sky opened up into a full-on downpour, and I was stuck in the museum a bit longer than I had planned for, as I didn’t think in the 90 degree heat that morning to pack and umbrella. At right: the most alarming sculpture: a giant disgruntled nude man (stranger included in shot for scale).

After I toured the Museum of African Art and the Freer gallery, I did a quick look-see into the Smithsonian Castle and then called it quits. After eight museums in two days, I had to admit museum burnout.

DC: Adventures in the Big City

2009-07-27T14:00:00.000-07:00

DC, Day 1

After a delicious breakfast of gluten-free blueberry muffins, Rachel took me to go see the sights. She guided me through the metro, and we walked along the National mall to see the Washington monument, the WWII memorial, the Lincoln memorial, and the white house. It was fun to see everything in real life (as you may have heard, the white house is a lot smaller than you’d expect. Still really cool, though.) Am including another one of my favorite terrible landmark shots: We asked a passerby to take a pic with us in front of the Washington Monument (see right...thanks, dude. I'm sure Rach appreciates her new hair accessory). Later, like true city girls, we had sushi for dinner.

DC, Day 2

Took the bus with Rachel to her work and she pointed me in the direction of the Smithsonian museums. Walking from the bus stop, I quickly discovered that to step into a crosswalk when the walk sign is on is to take your life into your own hands. Cars don’t stop. Ever. In fact, they will honk at YOU, leaning out the window, flipping you off and cussing at you for the very AUDACITY you had to cross the street at the right time. (Can you tell I’m extremely disturbed by this custom?) I darted like a rabbit across every street I came to, hoping I wouldn’t be picked off by the SUV that couldn’t wait 15 seconds for the light to change. Having escaped with my life, I started my sightseeing with the Museum of American History, spending a few hours looking at all kinds of artifacts, from serious and significant (the original Star-Spangled Banner) to serious and creepy (the bloodstained cuff of the actress who held Lincoln after he was shot) to just plain random (the original Kermit the frog. oh, Kermie!!). At left: Judy Garland's ruby slippers.

Ate a boiled egg and a granola bar on my way to the National Museum of Art. (No way was I going to spring for the $10 hot dogs or ice cream that were being hawked along the way!) These museums are just so vast that I didn’t even bother getting a map. My plan of action was as follows: wander in a vaguely left-and-back direction, then wander back in a right-front-ish kind of way. Saw pre-Renaissance Italian art, classic Dutch paintings, and a lot of Impressionists. Sorry, am about to art-geek out on everyone, but I saw: Gauguins, Vermeers, Cassats, Goyas, Winslow Homers, Van Goghs, the fauves, It was a lot of art to absorb, and that was only the West building! Crossed over to the East building, and was promptly reprimanded for sipping my water bottle in the lobby. (My bad, I might have spilled filtered water onto your lobby floor.) Visited my college (paper) buddies Warhol, Thiebauld, Matisse, Katz, Mondrian, Caulder, and Pollock.

After this artfest, I darted my way a few blocks up and found the National Portrait Gallery. Equally amazing. Could spend years in the museums here, but Rachel was about to get off work and happy hour was calling...

Kentucky-West Virginia--Maryland--DC

2009-07-27T13:51:00.000-07:00

Not much to report from this drive. A lot more green. Passed through “Wild and Wonderful West Virginia” whose main industry, judging by the smell, is coal mining. The billboards, however, would have you believe that golf is the main attraction here. As neither really appeal to me, I only stopped once, in a town called Chimneyville or something like that, for gas, and then cruised right through.

I saw my first little “East-coasty” town in Maryland and have to admit may have been a tiny bit culture shocked to see so many buildings next to each other, after the sparseness of Kansas, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, and West Virginia. My grip on the steering wheel tightened considerably entering DC, what with quadruple the amount of cars I was used to quadruply close together at quadruple the speed I thought should have been appropriate for the situation. I was really afraid of being honked at, but the guy behind me leaned on his horn because I chose not to run down a family with a baby in a stroller that chose to cross the street on my green light, I realized that being honked at in the city would be inevitable, unless I felt like committing manslaughter.

I somehow found a parking spot fairly close to my step-sister Rachel’s house, and found that I had inadvertently timed my arrival perfectly with a bbq/party that she and her seven housemates were having. I lugged in my bags, was handed a cold beer and a veggie burger, and forgot all about being honked at.

DRIVIN' KENTUCKY

2009-07-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

After leaving the farm, I took a minor detour through Metropolis, Illinois: Home of the Giant Superman Statue. (I mean, really, how could you pass that up?) It was everything I’d hoped it’d be: big. superman-y. I arrived just before a family with small kids and I could hear them yelping as soon as they got out of the car, “sooooooperman!!” The mom very generously offered to take my picture, and then had to spend a few minutes yelling at her kids to get out of the shot. It was great. As an added bonus, I got to see a cop lead a jailbird into the building the superman was in front of. Not lying. It seemed like they were old friends, talking and laughing, the guy in the yellow jumpsuit gesturing with his handcuffed hands...

After that, things got really boring. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say more boring than Kansas and Missouri. The parkway was lined with thick green forest, which, although it was very pretty, was the same for hours and hours and hours. Listened to a big chunk of my book on tape.

Heading for my stepsister’s best friend-and-her-husband’s house in Berea, Kentucky. She and her husband had to work late, but (even though I’ve never met them, bless their hearts), they told me where the key to their house was hidden and told me to make myself at home. My GPS was set to their address and I was looking forward to a quiet evening by myself.

After I stopped for gas in Bardstown, my GPS must have somehow reset itself, because it led me on an inadvertent tour of Kentucky’s ritziest neighborhoods. I should have realized, being the home of the Kentucky Derby, that there would be quite a few manicured green pastures with perfectly manicured painted fences and manicured horses with braided manes cantering about. I was led right into the heart of it, into a golf course community with giant mansions. At first I thought, wow, Rachel didn’t mention that her friend lives in a mansion! Then I realized that instead of saying "you've reached your destination, 123 Main St" or something like that, it had random coordinates highlighted. Stupid GPS.

The house, once I found it, was very cute. I met their somewhat psychotic cat Smokey right away, and he fluctuated between mewing sweetly and rubbing my leg to snapping without warning and sinking his claws into my calves and feet. He followed me into every room, even the bathroom, and (to my dismay) apparently knew how to open the bathroom door from the outside. Unsettling. I learned to lock it whenever I went in.

Beyond the cat issue, I slept very well, and unfortunately had to leave early in the morning to get to DC before dark. I never got to meet Rachel's friend at all! :( Many thanks for letting me stay there, Vivian!

PHARM PHOTOS...

2009-07-27T13:29:00.000-07:00

oops, forgot to include a few winning shots:

proof that i drove a tractor, and my lovely hosts!

MISCELLANEOUS FARM ADVENTURES

2009-07-25T19:30:00.000-07:00

I was on the farm for a total of seven days, and in that time managed to accomplish too many adventures to recount in detail. A quick overview of new experiences includes driving the tractor, herding errant escaped calves back into the fenced pasture, holding a chicken, peeking in on baby barn owls nesting in the barn, and touring the nearby Heron pond, a swamp complete with Cypress knees, water snakes, and angry crawdads (one accosted Sharon and I as we hiked in, waving his big claw around like he knew how to use it! Fortunately he was barely three inches tall...)

I also got to see the nearby town of Cairo (pronounced Cay-roh...) where the Mississippi river meets the Ohio river. The town used to be a hoppin’ place in the early 20th century, but race riots in the 1970’s brought the town to near ruin. Bob and Sharon pointed out the bullet holes in the police station and courthouse, and then proceeded to try to find Cairo’s hospital, which, newly built in the 70’s, was completely abandoned after the riots. As if the bullet holes and entire city blocks of abandoned and broken buildings weren’t enough to give me goosebumps, the sun was setting fast and my hosts showed no signs of turning back. We ended up cruising the projects of Cairo after dark, lost, and searching for this abandoned hospital and a place called the Magnolia Mansion. (Queue high-pitched screechy violin music here...I was pretty sure we weren’t going to make it out of Cairo.) Once located, I took quick pictures out of the car window of the dark, overgrown buildings and we set off back home. Unfortunately, a decision was made to detour to the national cemetery nearby. Normally, I’d be all for a tour of our nation’s historical dead, but as it was nearing 10pm and I still hadn’t eaten dinner, and it was pitch black outside, I have to admit I was pretty bummed about this impromptu cemetery visit. It was so dark, in fact, that we couldn’t read the giant plaque at the entrance of the graves. I took a flash picture of it and read it on my camera screen, and to my great relief, it stated “No visitors after sundown”. Phew! We turned around and went home. Below: The great confluence: Sharon sights the Ohio; I've found the Mississippi. The haunted hospital (?) and the graveyard sign. *I had to photoshop the hospital pic a bit just so you could make out the building!

A final adventure on the farm included a hike through the neighbor’s property to see a Native American cave painting. Although it was buggier beyond belief (I swear these guys were targeting my eyeballs) it was really cool to see the painting. I think I found a piece of an arrowhead in the rocks around it, too. Bonus!

THE FAILED HIKE

2009-07-20T11:22:00.000-07:00

The second day on the farm, Sharon told me about a nearby hike that I should try. Despite a semi-creepy name (The Panther’s Den), it sounded fun. I got a little apprehensive when she pulled out a topographical map and pointed out which squiggly lines I should hike to, and even more nervous when she handed me a compass to help me get there. But: you can’t not have an adventure if you need a compass to get where you’re going!

Back in the matrix, I drove slowly along the country roads looking for the entrance to the hike. I actually drove past the little dirt road the first time, because the road sign was overgrown. Down the dirt road, turned onto a smaller, rockier dirt road, until I came to a downed tree in the middle. Bah! I got out to survey the situation and was immediately swarmed with all manner of bugs. I had to scramble for my Off! and gave myself a pretty generous dosing (who knows what those chemicals do long term? I might develop a third eye on my neck by the end of this buggy adventure). My battle of even budging the tree an inch was lost miserably. I managed to break off a few twigs but definitely battled for the right-of-way in vain. At this point I re-evaluated the distance from the ditch on the side of the road and squeeked the matrix around it. I found the forlorn, empty “parking lot” Sharon had spoke of, and looked for the unmarked trailhead she recommended, but could feel the panic rising being so far away from anywhere, down random, tree-blocked dirt roads in the middle of a southern Illinois forest. There was a sign near one of the trail heads, so as a compromise between being a brave trail-blazer and a brave trail-follower, I set off down that one.

As I tromped off down the trail, I made sure I had my compass, my map, water, a granola bar, my camera, my pocket knife, and my cell phone (though I had no reception, so moot point) at the ready. Sharon had briefed me on wildlife in the area, which included three kinds of poisonous snakes: rattlesnakes, copperheads, and cottonmouths (oh my!). I developed a weird sort of stompy-walk to scare away anything before I got there. I also walked into about 15 spiderwebs before I picked up a stick and started swirling the air in front of me to clear them before my face did. Now I was stompy-walking and stick-swirling and I’m sure I looked beyond ridiculous. In addition to my fears of deadly snakes, spiders on my face, mosquito-borne diseases (did I mention the constant hum of skeeters hoovering around me, just waiting for me to sweat off my off?), I also started fearing an encounter with a trucker-cap wearing, three-toothed, malt liquor-swigging, bowie-knife wielding local after seeing an abandoned campfire spot littered with beer cans. As each fear came to me I told myself to buck up and keep going, but at a certain point (yeah...um...15 minutes in? I didn’t last long!) I gave up, turned around, and practically ran back to my car. (Oh, and ran into all the spiderwebs AGAIN on the way back, those suckers waste no time in rebuilding!) (see top photo, I snapped a quick pic before I turned tail...)

This makes for a tidy, dramatic ending of my hike story, but I can’t leave out the following two events: First, I actually did see a snake crossing the dirt road in front of me (eeeeeew but cool but eeeeew--and it was just a black snake, no rattles or cotton or copper). Secondly, I helped a little old turtle cross the road. Good deed for the day: done.

THE FARM June 21 +

2009-07-20T10:57:00.000-07:00

Southern Illinois is gorgeous. Rolling hills, green everywhere, fields of wheat that look like golden ocean. My destination, the farm, is owned by my cousin’s uncle Bob and his wife Sharon. They raise beef (I feel a bit rude visiting and not being red-meat eater). In addition to their 24 head of cattle or so, they have five horses (Tica, Toomba, OT, Roco, and Maya), a seeing-eye donkey named Pancho (to help guide a blind horse who has since passed), two dogs (Chrysler and Pluto), a bunch of cats (Bajadhour, Gibahn, Chicken, and Bob for starters), a few roosters (Rush, Sweatpants), bunch of chickens (no namers), Guinea hens (all are called “Guinea”), a small flock of crested ducks (only one is named: Circumstance)...I think I got it all. Below: a mishmash of farminals.

The farm is fun! I get to help out with chores like collecting eggs from the hen house, feeding the ducks, watering the cattle, and feeding the horses. I helped participate in horse-washing, which actually also includes horse-squeegee-ing. No joke. The weather here is extremely hot, hanging around the 90s everyday, which inevitably has lead to a few pond-swims. Unfortunately, the pond itself is so hot that it’s not too much of a reprieve. After a particularly hot day, Sharon and I swam in the evening before chores. As there was practically no difference between the water temperature and the outside temperature, we didn’t bother putting on clothes again to finish up on the farm...which lead to the first (and hopefully last) time I shoveled manure in a horse pen in my bikini and tennis shoes. (And no, I didn’t document this last event with a photo.)

Other notable farm tidbits: their neighbor grows tomatoes in a field that runs along the driveway. As a measure against the deer, he plays Christian talk radio 24/7, so when things are quiet in the middle of the day, you can hear faint voices. We’ve decided that he could market those tomatoes as “infused with family values”...talk about genetically engineered crops!

SOON TO COME...

2009-07-19T01:38:00.000-07:00

Hey All,
Wow, it's been a long time since I've had internet and time to write at the same time. I'm finally finding my way out of the cornfields and am preparing for a blizzard of updates, but until then, for those of you who still think I'm somewhere in Illinois, a few highlights from what's to come:

-drivin' tractors, washin' horses, and herdin' calves in Illinois

-Museum madness and matrix security breach in DC

-crab eating lessons in Baltimore

-Potentially superdangerous wildlife encounter in Shenendoah National Park (I've got video of this one! A must-see...)

-Croquet playing with an Elvis impersonator and his family in North Carolina

-Staying in tree houses and brushing up on ukulele in Georgia

-Pancakes with my name on 'em (literally) at the Pirate Haus Hostel in Florida

-Camping at the #1 beach in the US

Stay tuned for the full updates folks! Sorry for the lag!

LAWRENCE KANSAS-- CARBONDALE, ILLINOIS

2009-07-04T21:31:00.000-07:00

The upside of car camping in Kansas in the summer is that you don’t wake up freezing cold. Instead, it was a balmy 78 degrees with a light breeze that made for an extremely pleasant morning. The light was beautiful and the campsite had these big patches of very picturesque tall grasses (very "Kansas" in my mind). I couldn't resist a self-timed shot of myself frolicking in the meadow, but the distance was pretty good between a camera set-up and the grass, so I had to full on sprint to get in the shot. Even then, I'm barely in the frame, but I'm not in good enough shape to do multiple retakes... I had a little breakfast, repacked, and took off towards Missouri.

I gassed up in Lawrence and had my first gas station faux pas, although I maintain it was a result of faulty equipment and not human error. As I lifted the nozzle from it’s handle to the car, it shot a spontaneous burst of gasoline all over the side of my car!! Waaaaah. I had to clean it all up and the first half an hour of my drive smelled bad.

Again, the book on tape; I can’t tell you much about the drive from the gas station to the Missouri border. I passed through the childhood home of Dwight D. Eisenhower and of some astronaut I had never heard of. I saw the Gateway arch from a while away and got really exited. It’s really, really big up close. Way bigger than I expected. Which made it pretty impossible to get a good picture with it, actually. I decided to ask somebody else to get a shot for me, and the resulting photo was such a failure it is hilarious. I just thanked the guy and walked away, but I guess I should have clarified I'd like a picture of myself with the Gateway Arch, which I was conveniently standing in front of. Yeah, that silver thing in the background...I really didn't need a picture of me and sidewalk. Anyway. I also had no idea you could actually take an elevator up into it!! Had to skip that, though...no time to stand in THAT line.

I will say that Missouri has really terrible billboards. One of my personal favorites: Don’t just be a person, be a personality!! (for broadcaster positions). ...Also, there are several warning signs about slowing down in construction sites, although the presentation is a little disconcerting; they all say HIT A WORKER really big, and then $10,000 fine underneath. It seems more like an invitation, doesn’t it? It’s not IF you hit a worker, or DONT hit a worker. But hitting a worker seems like it would be a really really bad thing anyway--do people really need signs to be discouraged from this?

Missouri also has its share of pro-life billboards, but somewhat paradoxically, they have an equal amount, if not more, of XXX adult superstore billboards. Go figure.

Missouri wildlife sightings: dead armadillos on the side of the road.

Culturally: confederate flag license plates and “OBAMA: One Big Ass Mistake, America” bumper stickers. Also passed through the home of David Cook, American Idol winner 2008 (no, I don’t watch the show or care, and yes, this was on an actual highway sign--this town must be really desperate for some action).

Made it to my dad's sister's husband's brother-and-his-wife's farm (follow? from here on out I'll just call them Bob and Sharon...). So much to report from farm life it'll have to have it's own entry, soon to follow...

ON THE ROAD: PARKER, CO--LAWRENCE, KS

2009-06-30T06:46:00.000-07:00

Set off from Parker to Kansas fairly uneventfully. Windy, hilly roads through small towns and countryside...nothing much to report. (Left, a standard sample of my view for hours.) I’ve started my book on tape, which has a somewhat hypnotic effect on me, and although I can drive safely, I zone out. Hit a storm before the Kansas border and, unfortunately, ended up driving with it for hours. Picture a dark raincloud over my car only. I was really paranoid about tornadoes (well, duh, I was in Kansas right? I’ve seen the Wizard of Oz enough to know what goes on out there!) so I had to turn off my book on tape and scan the local radio for weather reports. As it was perfectly normal and safe storm (and not the doom-storm I was making it out to be), the weather was not reported frequently, so this resulted in my listening to the entire radio dial scanned for at least half an hour (think 15 second snippets of every country song known to man and throw in a 15 second bible lecture between every two or three of them). Kansas also has more pro-life billboards than I’ve ever seen in my life. Every few miles there’s a huge picture of a blonde, blue-eyed baby with sayings like “God knows their souls before they’re born” and “Did you know babies can smile before they’re born?” I would venture to say they are more frequent than fast food signs here. That, and the billboards and graffiti that simply state “JESUS IS REAL”.

In the animal department, Kansas apparently has a lot to offer, including a 5 legged steer, a 6 legged cow, and the world’s largest prarie dog, weighing in at 800 lbs. I would have been temped to see the latter, but was tipped off before I left that it is a stuffed animal and not worth the time. Of the animal life I did see, the most exciting was a spikey-looking turtle preparing to cross the road. Long neck and tail....I actually thought it was an iguana from a distance. Poor guy is probably no longer with us, as there were many cars behind me, and I doubt he had the manuerverability and speed to cross safely.

My bit of good luck for the day came when I realized I was about to get on a toll road (and after my Colorado experience, I avoid these like the plague). I blindly exited without a plan and tried to get myself to a place where I could study the map...and somehow wound up at a scenic highway that led straight to Lawrence, my destination for the night! No toll AND a view... bonus!

My bad luck, which followed immediately, was to get really, really lost in Lawrence trying to find Clinton Lake State Park, where I wanted to camp for the night. At least an hour was spent circling, doubling back, and asking strangers until I was finally on the right track, losing daylight quickly. I set up camp around 8:30 and used my brand new stove to heat up some water for a noodle bowl.

I never thought I would appreciate the bitter cold temps of Yellowstone car camping, but I have decided it’s much harder to fall asleep in hot, muggy cars with the windows rolled up (on account of the bugs). Around midnight I decided something had to be done and pulled out my roll of duct tape to McGuiyver a bug screen over the window so I could sleep with the window rolled down. Version #3 worked best, using my pillowcase duct taped to the ceiling, side doors, and the door itself. Worked rather nicely. (see right. yes, I took a picture, I was damn proud of my resourcefulness at midnight!)

THAT COSTA RICA THING...

2009-06-30T06:34:00.000-07:00

Andy and Jenny invited their friends to go on their honeymoon with them. They want to rent a little villa and surf for a week in Puerto Viejo (Caribbean side, near the Panamanian border). They found pretty cheap tickets, and so, after mulling it over for a few days (yeah, what a hard decision huh?) I hopped on board. Only a bit scary after I found out I was the only friend who had bought tickets (aw, just the three of us!), but have since found out there’s at least one other couple going. Fifth wheel can’t be too bad, if you’re beach-bumming around in Costa.
We've reached a point where nicknames have evolved: Toona, Boop, and Droop do Castlewood Canyon. Next stop: Puerto Viejo!

As I have made this spontaneous travel plan in the middle of my already spontaneous traveling plan, I haven’t had to adjust too much. I’ve got to make it to the east coast, down through the south, and back up to Denver before the end of July (the cheapest flight left from Denver anyway...). So, back to the road...

THE WEDDING

2009-06-28T18:14:00.000-07:00

The night before the big day, Andy and Jenny stayed up late writing their vows. I searched for airline tickets to Costa Rica at the table as well(a spontaneous decision, more on this later), and served as the third party for veto-ing or approving phrases for the bride and groom (among phrases vetoed: you are the peanut butter in my pb & j...although it would have been very cute). At almost the stroke of midnight, they finished the vows and I clicked the “purchase now” button, and we all went to bed.

I was awoken the next morning by Andy running into my room and jumping on the bed, saying “Get up! get up! It’s my wedding day!!”. This story is now infamous, as Auntie Kris was standing by and relayed the story over the phone to my mom, who got all emotional over it and now it has become the morning mom cried over the way Andy woke me up.

Jenny has got to be the most calm bride there ever was. I think I was more nervous than she was, because I had been chosen to do her hair and if I messed up, it would be thoroughly documented in all the wedding pictures and passed on to her children and children’s children and one day, a distant relative will say “wow, she’s beautiful, but what kind of a hack did her hair?”. So you see the pressure here.
I accompanied Jenny to her mom’s house to assist with her preparations. Which was pretty much nothing; she took a shower, we sniffed some body lotions to decide what was best, and then we sat out on the porch in the sun to let her hair air dry while we sipped some wine, ate blueberries, and did the crossword puzzle. We got intermittent calls from the rest of the wedding party; quick, out of breath cell phone reports on the status of the preparations elsewhere: of the rest of the family, stressed and sweaty and running around setting up at the spot, the emergency bee-exterminator call, the flowers, the table settings. When they asked how Jenny and I were doing, I told them that she was starting to stress out too, and that we were working to calm her down and get everything ready. Then I hung up the phone and we laughed and poured a little more wine... (sorry fam! the truth comes out...)
(Above, just hours away from the wedding, we're clearly stressing out...)

The ceremony was beautiful. The weather, which had been looking really threatening, cleared up just in time for the outdoor event. Jenny’s brother Dave and I served as best man/lady and managed not to trip on the walk to the front (success!) I have to admit I almost lost my composure when a bird sitting on a tree above the officiator pooped and narrowly, NARROWLY missed his shoulder. I think only Dave and I saw it, and we looked at each other and I almost burst out laughing. Jenny and Andy told me later the officiator also had a huge mosquito on his forehead the whole time, getting fatter and fatter, but they couldn’t very well slap his face as he gave a speech about love at their wedding.

Andy’s dad Steve and his uncle Bob played a guitar/mandolin duet of a Beatles song which was beautiful. Steve’s guitar strap broke in the middle of the song but he caught it before it fell, barely missing a beat. I think that made the performance that much more amazing.

The reception was great; dancing, food, australian horseshoes and games of cornhole and croquet... a lovely night and a huge success. (Unfortunately, in all the hubub of preparations and whatnot, I left my camera upstairs the entire time, so I can’t post pics!) And for the record: her hair stayed put all night! What a gorgeous bride :)

REUNITED: Denver, CO

2009-06-24T22:44:00.000-07:00

(For those of you who are up to date on my travels, I apologize for the lagging posts...but I'm working on it!)

My quick story of the day here begins a long time ago, all the way back to my time as a Westlake Elementary Wildcat. I was best friends with a girl named Kate, and we used to tromp around the woods behind UCSC family student housing together, climb trees, and make obstacle courses for her pet rat. When she moved away in fourth grade, we decided to carry on our friendship via pen-palmanship. Surprisingly, somehow, we have remained pen pals (the old-fashioned, snail-mail type, even in this age of the internet) for some 15 odd years! Despite the fact that she has been teaching physics in Micronesia for the past year, we figured out we'd both be in Denver at the same time! (Okay, so a little internet was invloved...but still!) We had a lovely coffee and lunch catch-up session before she had to hop on a bus to the airport.Above, Kate and I. We hadn't seen each other for at least 12 years!

A CLOSE CALL: Denver, CO

2009-06-24T22:35:00.000-07:00

Driving across the country has resulted in a somewhat unnatural relationship between myself and my trusty little matrix. As it is basically my little house on wheels, I get a little anxious when I can't see it, or have to park it on a traffic-prone street. Denver has been especially taxing on this neurotic tendency, as my cousin lives on a pretty busy area. Recently he convinced me I could park it on a side street, where I can't run to the window and check on it. I was very reluctant, but he assured me over and over that nothing would happen to it. The weather turned super stormy that night and the next morning I got a call from Andy, who had left for work early. He had passed my car and wanted to tell me that it was okay before I came upon the scene: traffic cones surrounding my car, and not two inches behind, a giant fallen branch. Had I backed up even a foot more, poor little matrix would have suffered a mighty blow.

June: Sounds of Parker

2009-06-13T17:39:00.000-07:00

Wedding fast approaching; days have been spent sewing pearls onto the veil, designing the seating chart, getting hair accessories for the bride, and playing ukulele with my grandmother. Not much time for a full blog update, but wanted to share what Parker sounds like at night. Wildlife points to anyone who can identify what animal sounds are filling the canyon behind the house (and sometimes underneath my bedroom window!) in the following clip. Hint: It doesn't have feathers.

MAY 27: CASTLEWOOD CANYON

2009-06-02T15:43:00.001-07:00

Andy and Jenny came down from Denver today and took me bouldering in Castlewood Canyon. Really fun...you're not as high up, but you don't have a rope, either. Instead you pack in these big packs of crash pads (see left) to set up below the rock in case you fall. So much fun to watch these two climb, but when it came to be my turn, I think I set new records in awkwardness. I found that one of the hardest parts of bouldering is actually getting back down again! I spent a lot of time hugging rock.

Luckily, I improved a bit with practice, and by the end of the day I had climbed a V1 problem! (see above: how do I get down now?)

MAY 26+ LIFE IN PARKER

2009-06-02T15:15:00.000-07:00

I'm being a super slug about updating blogs...
Life in Parker is nice and mellow, doing painting and reading with Auntie Kris. On Wednesdays she babysits for her art teacher's children, Ella and Sam. I'm not much help here; Ella cries simply when I walk into the room, apparently because I have dark hair (her entire family is blonde...). So, that always starts us off on the right foot. Sam, who is 3, is obsessed with the letter W. He carries a foam W around and shows it to everybody and is also a whiz at spelling. He arranges his foam alphabet into various 3-letter words. As a joke, his dad asked him to spell butterfly. Sam looked up and said 'no dad, we don't have two T's'. Scary smart kid.

I posed for photos that Kris is going to use in her new paintings. Lots of wardrobe changes...including my pajamas, three different wedding dresses, a sarong, and a raincoat. Interested to see how the paintings come out...

I've also been helping Kris teach her kid's art class. The biggest challenge has turned out to be not lesson planning, but keeping the conversation less Britney Spears and more Frida Kahlo. We'll be doing self portraits soon... should be interesting.

Bolder Boulder operations continue to impress me; I just got an email with a link to all the photos that were taken of me during the race. Too cheap to actually buy any, but pulled the copyrighted images to at least prove I ran...and that I had a huge goofy grin on my face the entire time! An example:

MAY 25 BOLDER BOULDER

2009-05-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

I survived another 10k race! The Bolder Boulder 10k is the second largest road race in the nation--over 50,000 people ran! It made for some crazy logistical planning...due to massive road closures and limited parking, I had to drive up to Boulder the night before and stay with my cousin's fiancee's brother-and-his-girlfriend (Dave and Julie)'s friends. Follow that? I showed up at the house around 10pm, it went something like "hi nice to meet you, thanks for letting me sleep on your couch, goodnight." They lived in a super key location; the race actually was routed on either side of their street so I could walk to the start line. A crazy scene--people raced in heats according to their pace, starting with heat AA...I was in heat MP. Yeah. Equal amounts of really serious runners as those wearing gorilla suits, grass skirts, and superhero costumes (see Dave and Julie in thier race getup, below). The race was lined with tons of bands, a trampoline crew, elderly belly dancers, people handing out beer to runners, a slip-n-slide station, bbqs....Basically a six-mile long party, that finished in the CU football stadium. I wish I could have brought my camera, but I really didn't want to run with it. In the end, I ran almost the exact same time as my Montana 10k. (Wah! I sort of trained for this one! I'll blame the altitude and the fact I had to dodge and weave the crowds.) The official results: I got 291st out of 581 in my division, and 8775th out of 26182 women. I may go pro soon, with numbers like that.

Finishers of the race got a free goody bag and beer, and we sat in the stadium to watch other finishers and a team of competitive jump-ropers perform in the middle of the stadium (random?). Met with Dave and Julie and collected free samples of food at the promotional tents. Just as I had filled my bag with pounds of giveaway nutrition bars, etc, and we prepared for the mile walk back to the house, it began to thunder loudly and pour rain. After running 6 point something miles, I had to run another mile back in rain so heavy I could barely see--and carrying my bowling ball of a snack bag too! Exhaustion. Below: Made it back to the house soaking wet, but happy!

MAY 23 DENVER/PARKER CO

2009-05-26T18:36:00.000-07:00

I attended my first bridal shower today, thrown by Jenny's aunt Pat. Felt fairly out of place. Had to rescue the ladies confused and daunted by the task of opening a champagne bottle for mimosas (um, excuse me, I'm sorry, you really shouldn't use a corkscrew...)
It was a tightly run ship--I got busted for talking with my drink in hand (if I gestured with my cup, there was a slight risk of spillage on carpet!) and was consequently the only bridal shower guest relegated to, whenever speaking, having to place her cup on a mini-tv table set brought in and set up just for me. Slightly humiliating.
I was also appointed the gift-hander-over-person when I sat too close to the wedding gifts. The bride-to-be received a serving platter, shower curtain rings, and about 6 hot pink striped victoria's secret boxes, the contents of which I'm fairly sure were shocking and quite scandalous to a few in attendance (namely, those that gave the serving platter and shower curtain rings). Below: Jenny super stoked on that platter.

Later in the day, attended another milestone soiree: the high school graduation party of a distant cousin I didn't know I had! I got to see my favorite New York-Italian relatives George and Ann. I'm not quite sure how we're related exactly, I think they might be cousins of my grandparents. Regardless, they make me feel closer to my Italian roots. A lot of squeezing hugs, cheek-pinching, hand-holding, proclamations of how Italian! I look, encouragement to eat the pasta dishes they made, and when she was across the room, Ann would wave at me with one little finger. Before I left, George hugged me and gruffly proclaimed, "have a wohn-duh-ful life." Love it!

MAY 22 BOULDER/DENVER CO

2009-05-26T18:19:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning to preparations for huevos rancheros, including made-from-scratch refried beans. I don't have to tell you how delicious those were. Or why I had seconds. Or why that was a bad idea (coughCrohnscough). Worth it though.
Returned to Denver midday, meaning to go on a training run for the upcoming 10k I'll be running, but somehow kept procrastinating. Jenny and I finally pulled it together to go for a run in the evening, but we decided to kill two birds with one stone by running our errands at the same time (i.e., run to the video store and grocery store). Oh, and we accepted the margaritas the neighbors offered us shortly before we left. Clearly I'm really serious about training.

We must have looked pretty funny, jogging around downtown Denver with a movie in hand. At one point, a fire engine pulled up at the stoplight we were waiting at and the firefighters waved at us and asked what movie it was. Pretty glad we had decided to go with a James Bond movie over the cheesy chick flick! Also picked up applesauce at the store for dinner. I'm pretty positive no one else is training by running the neighborhood with applesauce and dvds.

MAY 20/21 DENVER/BOULDER CO.

2009-05-24T12:54:00.000-07:00

Ice-cold coronas on a hot evening followed by a sweet concert at the Bluebird Theater in Denver with Jenny and friends. Joe Pug opened for Horsefeathers. Pretty cool indie-folk band--they've got guitar, cello, violin, banjo--and at one point, a saw was played. The crowd wore a lot of plaid, and were the types to wear retro horn-rimmed eyeglasses without prescriptions (I know because this individual was part of our crowd; have to admit I gave them a pretty hard time for wearing fake glasses as an accessory, but then again I'm new to the indie-folk fashion scene.)

The next morning off to Boulder for Jenny's bachelorette party! We met up with two of her friends (both nurses, like Jenny), and went bouldering at "the Spot", an indoor climbing gym. Fun climbing with a group of super strong girls. They all helped me find routes I could do (and not do--I ended up with quite a few chalk hand prints on my back and butt from the girls helping me reach holds I couldn't get too...). Learning the terms of climbing--like when you've been climbing for a while and your forearms get "pumped" (really tight) and your veins kind of stick out. Really funny that I was with a bunch of nurses at this point--they all took turns looking at my arms and discussing how easy it would be to do an IV on me. Noooo thank you.

We went out to dinner on Pearl Street in Boulder--found a place with "bottomless wine glasses" for $5. We sat, ate, and drank for hours. It was quite lovely, and you would have never known it was a bachelorette party save for Jenny's hot pink tiara and inappropriately shaped necklace (I won't elaborate, but she made several attempts to hide it over the course of the night.) Before heading home, we stopped at one more bar and had a few neon green shots. (Not a super good idea, but the bartender was a friend of theirs, and our tab after a few rounds was $4, total.)
We made it home safely, and after a huge plate of nachos, fell asleep.

MAY 16-17-18 Denver, CO

2009-05-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

Have been in Denver the past few days with my cousin Andy and his fiancee Jenny. So fun! Frisbee in the Cheesman park, hiking in Boulder, breakfast burritos, and climbing adventures.
Andy and I did a hike on Saturday in Boulder canyon scouting a bouldering site he wants to come back and climb. Unfortunately, we totally misread the directions and hiked for 5 or 6 miles in the wrong direction. Fun anyway, and good views (see below).

On Monday morning, Andy and Jenny and I met their friend Karl at the local coffee shop, St. Mark's. Jenny and I worked on the crossword puzzle over coffee and chai and almost finished it! (Only a few squares off--nobody knew a 5 letter word for "Norse poem", although everyone at the table contributed a few guesses in viking accents.) Afterwards, it was off to the county courthouse to get their marriage license. Karl and I went along as witnesses, although we proved useless as they aren't required. We were just glorified photographers, but it was fun anyway. (See below: the formal wedding party.)

License to wed secured, we set off to climb in Clear Creek Canyon, which is right outside of Golden, CO. I wish I could write an entry about how calm and collected and what an expert climber I turned out to be, but it wouldn't be true and it wouldn't be as funny as my real-life chicken adventure. Although I won't officially declare myself afraid of heights, I'm not a huge fan of being really far up on a cliff above a freeway and a rushing river.

I tried to play it cool, but I'm pretty sure my hardcore climbing cousins and friends saw right through me, as they literally had to hold my hand on the mountain goat-like trail up to the base of the climb. Our base camp was just steep enough that I almost felt more comfortable when I was on the rock with a rope because at least I was secured! We climbed a 5.7 difficulty route, for those of you who speak climberese. The very beginning of the climb had an overhang, so (although I really shouldn't divulge everything but I will), once I reached it I was helped up and over it by Jenny who was belaying me. The rest of the climb wasn't too bad if I kept my eyes on the rock. At one point they told me to enjoy the view, so I turned around and looked down, and then started sweating and almost threw up. So I didn't enjoy the view anymore. But--I made it up to the top, and that's what counts, right?

Watching Andy and Jenny climb was amazing. They are so collected and graceful and brave! Very inspiring. Jenny leading a climb on left, Look closely for Andy on right. He's up there.

DAYS 19-25 Parker, CO

2009-05-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

Have been enjoying Colorado life with my fam! Painting a lot with Auntie Kris--have started on three oil paintings so far. Decided to sign up for another 10k, the BolderBoulder. At least this time I have a little heads up to train for it: have been doing runs everyday since I registered (gotta get acclimated!). Another favorite activity at the Iltis house: watching the squirrels trying to get into the birdfeeder. It's not as boring as it sounds, believe me. Will update more and add pics soon!

DAY 18: May 9th, SD-WY-CO

2009-05-14T07:26:00.000-07:00

Woke up having slept quite well, but also much colder than I've ever woken up to. I apologize for the repeated references to my being cold, but I've come to find that this is a major factor in car camping in spring in places that are not California. This morning was the most brutally cold--my cocoon of warmth sleeping arrangement was no match for the thick layer of frost that had built up on all my windows. I'm pretty sure it snowed last night. When I turned on the car the outside temp read 31 degrees and I finally felt validated for being so freezing.

First stop before hitting the road: A tiny little bakery on Hot Springs' main road. (also may have been the only business in town open, so the choice was easy). I'm pretty sure I walked through time warp when I came through the door because I walked straight into a bible study group of miners from 1909. Really. It was maybe 6:30am and these guys were sitting around in their dirty overalls with beards that reached below the table discussing (no, arguing) biblical passages. I wondered what they possibly could have been up to before 6:30 at their age that could have gotten them so dirty. Their discussion then turned to robbing banks, although I'm pretty sure this was a metaphor for something else that just went straight over my head. Or not?

Bakery selection in South Dakota is much like the healthy breakfasts of Wyoming: 24 different kinds of doughnuts. Really. I was kind of hoping for a muffin, or maybe a croissant, but my choices were limited to chocolate covered, glazed, long, round, jelly stuffed, sprinkles, or maple glazed. Egh. I also saw one of the miners enjoying a large plate of gravy with two lumps in it (biscuits, perhaps?) Funny that this is 4 doors down from my beloved health store. I ask if they have croissants just for fun, as I don't think I can bring myself to eat the local fare. Luckily, I guess they keep the croissants in the back (I believe it may be because it comes from a costco box). Regardless, I had a cup of coffee and a non-doughnut breakfast for $1.90, so I was happy.

On the road again. (And yes, that song gets stuck in my head every time I think these words.)
Cruise through miles of fields and farms, and decide to listen to local radio. First station I tune to is Native American drums and chanting. An interesting change, so I decide to listen for a bit. Kind of a trip trying to imagine the tribes traveling through here following bison rather than farmers cruising in their pickups. I sort of thought I'd listen for a song or two, but they all kind of melded together and then I felt guilty changing the station, like it would be disrespectful to the culture. So I got stuck listening to drumming and chanting for almost an hour.The exciting drive, above.

Events on the road: lots of antelope. I no longer am so enchanted by an antelope sighting. The first time I saw one in Yellowstone I actually pulled over and took pictures. Now, I silently curse at them to stay where they are, because they think nothing of suddenly leaping into the middle of the road as you approach, as evidenced by lots of antelope piles on the side of the road (or even in the middle of it). Out here, where the speed limit is 75, a collision is an event that would ruin both of our days. Thus, the cursing.

Not much else to say for the 6 hours of driving towards Colorado. At one point, near Cheyenne, I was behind a country music star. I know this because he had his name and the songs he was famous for printed on the windows of his faded blue dodge minivan (e.g. Edgar Halls, Country Music Singer, of "Buffalo Roam" and "Wings of Eagles"). Now that's marketing for you.

I can also say I have made a sigificant contribution to the future improvement of Colorado highways as I got stuck on the toll road for awhile (thanks a lot, GPS. what do you think I am, made of money??) Three toll booths and $7.50 later (more than I've spent on food for the past 3 days), I exit without knowing where I'm going but knowing I there has got to be a way to Parker without emptying my wallet. It just takes ignoring the GPS directions (this sounds like a british woman saying "RECALCULATING. RECALCUALTING. RE-RECALCULATING" over and over).

Late afternoon: Finally reach Parker, Colorado, home of Auntie Kris and Uncle Steve! So happy.

DAY 17: May 8, South Dakota, Part 2

2009-05-12T07:17:00.000-07:00

Alright. The saga continues...

After emerging from the bowels of the earth in an elevator (yes, they've put an elevator in the cave), I push Southward to Hot Springs, South Dakota. I'm long overdue for some food, so I find a sweet little health food store in town. In case you don't quite grasp the significance of this, finding a health food store in South Dakota when you're hungry is like finding an oasis in a desert when you're thirsty. Granted, I've never been in a grocery store so small (perhaps the size of a large dorm room?) and the fresh produce is limited to a few heads of lettuce and an apple on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator. Regardless, I feel instantly at home and am even "recognized" by the other shopper (her: you look really familiar. I think you're in a picture with my friend...me: not likely. her: are you a biologist? you look like a biologist.) I'll take that as a compliment, though it may be due to my being very dirty and smelling of cave and campfire. The clerk told me of a sweet camping spot nearby--no more "parking lot" camping for me.

There's still quite a bit of the day left, so I set off to find the Mammoth Site. Story goes, a developer in the 80's was bulldozing this site when he hit a mammoth tusk. Construction was delayed until they could dig it out, but the mammoth remains kept coming. The housing site was scrapped as they realized this was a significant site, and so far, 55 Columbian mammoth remains have been unearthed since then. Apparently it was an ancient sinkhole in which the male mammoths couldn't avoid (yes, all 55 remains are male-haha). They haven't even finished excavating yet, so they just built a huge building around the site (and now charge for admission. smart.)
I know it's completely and totally unfair to mention this, (especially as my mother is a speech therapist!) and I'm not trying to poke fun at anyone, but without the following detail I wouldn't be describing the true experience: Our tour guide had a pretty good lisp. Things came out like "55 Mammothth fell into the thinkhole".
The site had a behind-the-scenes area where you could see the lab where they make casts of the bones they find. But don't be mislead: I am totally lifting a real mammoth femur bone here, duh.

After I was mammothed-out, I set off to find the campsite. It was a bit of a challenge to find, and I ended up on a few miles of super-pothole-y dirt road. But: It paid off. I found a perfect little spot right next to the lake and the only other campers where a little family in an RV (Mom playing soccer with her 2-year old twins, dad fishing and catching sporadic fish which whip kids into frenzy...) It was even gloriously sunny, so I had a nice afternoon reading my book. As night fell, the RV neighbors invited me over for beer and campfire, but I was so tired I had to turn down the tempting offer. (see below: my gorgeous campsite!)

I woke up at midnight confused as to how long I had been sleeping, because it was almost as bright as day. Turns out the full moon was so bright, it was casting shadows all over the campsite. Weird, but not weird enough to keep me up too long. zzzzzzz

DAY 17: May 8, South Dakota, Part 1

2009-05-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

Woke up at 5am. Over it, and cold. I’ve slept in my clothes so all I have to do is throw on my shoes and start up the car. (Yeah. road bum, I know, but I was COLD and there wasn’t a warm cozy bathroom--like Elk Butt 3, to change in.) Anyway, I’ve heard the best time to see Mt. Rushmore is at dawn, so the timing will work out. Stop at the nicest rest stop I’ve ever seen on the way (way to go, South Dakota--who would’ve thought? It even had a computer touch-screen with weather/road conditions.) Getting hungry going through small po-dunk towns but refuse to stop at McDonald’s, and that seems like their only food fare. Rapid City saves the day with a little indie bagel shop. Reach Mt. Rushmore right as it opens; I think I’m the 4th person there...the visitor’s center hadn’t even opened yet! My first impression of this Great American Landmark? Holy. Crap. It’s. Cold. Freezing, in fact. The wind chill was bitter. I only include the following picture to prove my point: don’t I look like a warm, happy camper?

When the visitor’s center finally opened, I went straight to the informational movie as much to learn as to unthaw. It’s actually a really interesting story, and one of the better interpretive museums/visitor’s centers I’ve been to. A few interesting facts for my readers who have not been to the Great Faces themselves: The eyes are 11 feet in diameter and 90% of the sculpting was done with dynamite. Boom.

A hike to the base of the monument gets the blood flow going, body temperature now back up almost to, say, 36 degrees. (My extreme sensitivity to the weather could point to my being cold-blooded.) Near-tragedy: another self-timed photo op went bad as my frozen fingers bumbled the camera off the 3 foot stone ledge onto stone below. Somehow survived, except now it time-stamps all my pictures 2003 and the volume is stuck on high.

Consider eating lunch at the tourist cafe (“Monumental Breakfast” including biscuits and gravy...yum?? no.), but as I am one of the world’s cheapest travelers, I instead go a cup of water (free) and pocket some of the jelly packets at the toast station (what, they don’t technically charge for them, and I have peanut butter and bread in the car. It’s genius actually. I’ve done this enough times to know that one packet is too little and three is too much. Try it sometime.)

Southward, with the heat in the car turned all the way up. It actually snows while I'm driving, though it melts as soon as it gets near the ground. Pull over near the Crazy Horse monument (in progress, I think the finish date is around 2050?), but the guidebook says you have just as good a view from the freeway as you do if you pay $10 to park in the visitor's center. So. I snap a a quick pic and move on.

Next stop: Wind Cave National Park. I had never heard of it before, but it's possibly the coolest cave I've ever been in. Pulled up just in time to join a tour going through, although I missed the intro speech, this is what I can tell you about the cave: The Native Americans were aware of it, and there are some buffalo legends associated with it. In the 1800's, the white settlers were confused by a whistling sound and traced it to the cave's only natural opening in the ground. A 16 year old did most of the spelunking and mapping with a candle and a piece of string to keep from getting lost. After 4 years, he gave up trying to find the end and declared it endless. Even to this day, when the modern cave mappers think they've found a new cavern, they'll find his initials somewhere on the wall. It's the 4th longest cave in the world and one of the oldest. (The ranger even pointed out fossilized coral!!) Think about that one for a sec. South Dakota.
Of course, as my camera is wont to do, it ran out of batteries and memory space within 5 minutes of being in the cave, with my reserves in the car. The tour lasted over an hour and we were 200 feet below ground.

I'll have to come back with the rest of my day in Part 2, TBC...

DAY 16: May 7: Cody, WY-Spearfish, SD

2009-05-10T13:00:00.000-07:00

Woke up in my lovely, lovely humongous bed to warmth and a strange absence of elk butts. Do a bit of repacking, take advantage of the heart-healthy (free) breakfast of the big bear motel: coffee and doughnut holes. But did I mention it was free? There was a banana on the card table, too, so I took that as well. (Hope it was for me!)

First activity of the day: The Buffalo Bill Historical Center. I pull some mad money-saving skills at admissions by flashing not only my AAA card, but my (long expired, never really valid) University of Hawaii student ID. Booyah. The center is made up of five museums. A gun museum, a Plains Indians museum, the Buffalo Bill Cody museum, the Natural History Museum, and an art gallery (closed for construction, wah). Though myself not a gun enthusiast, I checked out that section (hey, when in Rome, right? Well, when in Cody...see left pic, becoming Western) Lots of really neat things in each section. Getting a better understanding of the “Wild West”. Sort of. At least now I’ve seen their guns, saddles, and taxidermy.

Onward to Devil’s Tower. Prretty boring drive. Had to break out my ipod NPR for this one; local radio really wasn’t cutting it. Highlight: I drove through a town with pop: 10 on the sign. Talk about small town. Once I hit the pass things got a lot more interesting. They have signs posted to all the rock outcroppings telling you how many millions of years old they are. Also: Saw my first marmot! They are so cute. And fat. So cute and fat. I want to snuggle with them, but they seemed more intent on snuggling with my tires and/or undercarriage of the matrix. Luckily I denied them the privilege, but they must be unhappy with marmot life they way they laze about in the middle of the highway. Beyond this, another high point of the trip was getting gas at less the $2/gallon. Yeah.

The closer I got to Devil’s Tower, the more I kept hoping the radio would skip to some obscure station and I’d be able to make out a song through the static. Anyone seen Close Encounters of the Third Kind? Please rent it. Although this natural wonder is plenty cool on it’s own, when you make it the central theme of an alien movie it becomes that much cooler. Also, the eerie alien song from the flick was STUCK IN MY HEAD. The ranger that admitted me looked like she could be twins with the ranger that admitted me in Yellowstone. (Does rangerism run in the family, or do those hats just play tricks with my eyes?)

Not only is Devil’s Tower an amazing display of geological magic, not only is it an pop culture movie icon, but it is also considered sacred by the Native Americans in the area. So, that’s pretty much a trifecta of power and amazement. Combined with the fact I got there late in the day, the sky was doing some weird cloud stuff, and I was almost completely alone when I did the 45 min. hike around the base, I was well freaked out. The turkey vultures that were circling overhead did NOT lessen the creepiness of the situation. All throughout the forest surrounding DT, the Native Americans leave little offerings of colored fabrics in the trees, so you’ll round a corner and see a big white figure out of the corner of your eye, only to realize it’s cloth hanging from a branch. I did manage to spot some climbers rappelling down the side. Made me dizzy just looking at them; I do NOT have the guts to do that kind of stuff. That is quite a literal statement, I might add, as I have 14 cm less of ‘em than most of y’all. (I had to work in a Crohn's/surgery joke somewhere!)
My photo challenge of the day was trying to get a self-timed photo of myself with the tower. It is so flipping tall that you can either get a) your face and the trees at the base or b) Possibly a few flyaway hairs from the top of my head and the top of tower. I shan’t post my miserable failures. My solution was to ask a Japanese tourist who had been in the middle of photographing his girlfriend on her motorcycle in front of it. He was happy to, and even counted to three in English for me!

Continued on to Spearfish, South Dakota to find a campsite for the night. My GPS felt it would be funny, as the sun was rapidly setting, to lead me to every dead end in the town, recommending I turn the wrong way onto/off of onramps, and then lead me in a repeating circle (I caught on before it happened twice, but still). Luckily for Garmin (my GPS), I had recently changed the voice accent from “American” to “British” so for some really I was a little more polite when I yelled at it. Finally found the Spearfish City Campgrounds which is SUCH a sorry, far cry from Yellowstone campgrounds. I miss bear danger. As I settled in, acutely aware of the teenagers-up-to-no-good I had passed in a nearby parking lot, I wished for rain as a soothing sound to fall asleep to. Unfortunately, I got my wish plus some. I’m not quite sure the source, I think it was drops accumulating and then falling in fat water-bombs from the tree I was parked under, but it sounded like somebody was dropping rocks onto the roof of my car all night. In my 2am delirium, I even considered getting out of the car to make sure my roof wasn’t dented. Please turn up the volume on your computer before you play the clip below. It’s pitch black, but all you really need is the sound anyway.

ADDENDUM DAY 15

2009-05-10T12:42:00.000-07:00

Forgive me, I neglected to mention I went to a bubbling, boiling, MUD VOLCANO. Now, how exciting is your day when you can forget to include that in your blog?

DAY 15: Yellowstone-Cody, WY

2009-05-06T21:35:00.000-07:00

A WHOLE lot colder last night. Kept warm inside my sleeping bag, but was really not pumped about getting out of my cocoon this morning. Have really been wanting to go for a good hike, but after seeing so many large predators, going by myself seems like a pretty bad idea. Decide to ask my Alabama friend as I can't bring myself to leave the park before I get my hike on.

Luckily he was down for a hike, so we grabbed maps, the bear spray, and some water and headed to Lava Creek trail, a 4.3 mile hike to Undine Falls. Amazing hike, but I'm glad I wasn't alone. Had the feeling of being watched by tons of animals I couldn't see the whole time. The animals we did see: Pronghorn, mule deer, and a bison. (I kind of freaked out at the bison. It's scary enough when you see them from the car; on foot it gave me a mini heart attack. Those dudes can reach speeds of 30mph if they feel like charging you! The waterfall itself was pretty awesome, the trail took us to be right at the level of the falls. Long way down A little further above the waterfall, something weird in the water catches my eye. Upon closer inspection, have found possible the most gruesome natural sculpture ever. Poor elk.

Round trip hike: 8.6 miles, knees a bit cranky. After a quick lunch, I wish 'Bama luck with the summer and head towards Yellowstone's East entrance. Raining a bit, but I'm hoping it will clear before I get to the pass...but I was way wrong. It just got stormier. I did have to stop short for a coyote at one point. He stopped in the middle of the road and looked me in the eye for what seemed like a long time. Best part of the drive back: As I was near Yellowstone Lake, spotted 3, yes THREE grizzlies!! There was nobody else on the road, so I pulled over on the opposite side of the road and watched Mama Bear and her cubs play around. A bird kept flying overhead, and one of the cubs kept rising on it's hind legs and batting at it. Unfortunately, this is the point at which my camera felt appropriate to run out of batteries. Damn.

The pass was a scary drive. The road had been cleared, but very cold, icy-looking, and huge snowbanks on either side. I drove 20 mph the whole time and was sweating in fear of sliding off the cliff. Soooooooo glad to reach flatlands, and headed to Cody for a night in the Big Bear motel (complete with bears on the shower curtains. Also: the receptionist had an especially choice mullet.)

DAY 14: Yellowstone National Park

2009-05-06T21:07:00.001-07:00

This picture, at left, is what I woke up to this morning. Apparently the eating right outside my car door was choice this morning. I have since rechristened this campsite Elk Butt 3. In other good news, waking up meant that I have survived my first solo camping. Slept pretty well, surprisingly.

Decided to drive into the Lamar valley and find the famed yellow nissan xterra belonging to Yellowstone’s most prominent wolf biologist, Rick McIntire. I have been told that wherever he’s parked, wolves won’t be far away. On the way, stopped and had a little self-guided trail walk, quite lovely. Also saw some bighorn sheep on the side of the road! Once I had crossed the Lamar River bridge, I noticed a bunch of cars pulled over (and we know what that means don’t we.) Although the xterra wasn’t present, I caught the license plate of one of the trucks: DRUID6. I happen to know one of the wolfpacks is named the Druid pack, so I felt this was a good sign! Several people with large spotting scopes and cameras with telephoto lenses were hiking up the hill across the highway, and one of them told me a pack has been spotted with a fresh carcass. (!!) Although it was very far away, I could make out a pile with dog-like figures standing over it. A few people let me look into their scopes and I was looking straight into the face of a black wolf with a bloody muzzle, as it stood over a bison. A few minutes later, a yellow xterra pulled up. Ha! I watched for a long time, until it began to rain. Pic below: my camera was put to shame by the telephoto lenses. The best I could do was a shot of the shooters. (Wolf site directly to the left of the tree stand on the right.)

I pulled back on the road headed towards camp, in case the rain turned into a storm. Not long after, the rain began to let up and I again saw cars pulled over. This time: a black bear! And later: a pronghorn antelope! A pretty good safari day by any standards.

Back in Mammoth, I was long overdue for lunch, so I found a spot near the hotsprings and made some food. Peanut-butter banana sandwich with organic hot cocoa mix sprinkled in there for some fun. A very filling meal, which I walked off on the paths around the hotsprings. Pretty crazy stuff. Smelly, too.

I checked out the other buildings in Mammoth, scouted a coffee stand for tomorrow morning, and inspected the general store and the hot springs hotel. Have suddenly become overwhelmingly tired. I knew the CA support crew would want to know if I survived the night on my own, plus I had a lot of bragging to do about my wildlife safari, but have not gotten cell service since Old Faithful. Decide to drive towards Gardiner until I get service to check in. While I was close, filled up on gas outside the park.

Got back just in time to reclaim Elk Butt 3 for the evening. Campsite filling up quick tonight. Decided I need to get out and have a bit more exercise, so I hiked a trail up a nearby overlook and down close to Lava Creek. The wind was so strong, it almost blew me off the hill. Tried to do a bit of drawing, but the chilly wind made it a pretty unpleasant experience. I had my back turned to Mammoth area for awhile as I was drawing, and when I chanced to look over my shoulder, I had to do a double-take: A huge, dark storm was almost right on top of me! I jogged as fast as my little elevation-weak lungs could gasp and got to my car as it began to pour. At 4:45, settling in for a long evening in the Matrix.

Luckily the sun managed to shine through the rain and I kicked back with some snacks and a pillow and read as the rain drummed on my car. Rain let up around 6:30, did a lap around the campsite to see if anyone had a bonfire going so I could escape my car for a bit and still stay warm. As most of the other campers here are retitrees in RVs, there was only one campfire to bum from. A 21 year old from Alabama who had just driven up for a summer job in Yellowstone. Reminds me a lot of my little bro, if Pete had a thick southern accent.

Climb back into the Matrix-pod at dark (sun doesn't set til nearly 9pm here!!). Thinking about launching next leg of trip tomorrow.

DAY 13: May 4th, Mammoth Campgrounds, Yellowstone National Park WY

2009-05-06T20:42:00.000-07:00

Left Bozeman this morning after Vanessa showed me her latest job site, a pretty hip dentist office downtown. Quick drive to Livingston, refueled. (got gas and tea. Tea blend name, by the way: “Evenings in Missoula”. It was good, but I can’t figure out what was in it.)

Pretty drive through Paradise Valley and into Yellowstone! Got really excited at the Roosevelt Gate. Began talking to myself like Yogi the bear (hey hey Tin-ah, whaddaya think about a pic-i-nic in Jell-y-stone to-day?) Pretty addictive to talk like that, glad no one else was there to hear me. I had been told there were 7 ft. snowbanks on the ground, and had been gearing up to dish out a lot of green for a motel room, but when I pulled through the Mammoth campsites, it was a warm 50 degrees with no snow in sight! I reserved campsite #3 right away ($14, close to the ranger station and bathrooms. key). Then I continued on my merry way and checked out the Visitor’s center. Decided to bust down to Old Faithful today and back. Before I took off, I dutifully had a small pic-i-nic on the benches consisting of a pb and banana sandwich. Thought of Yogi, again.

Yellowstone is BREATHTAKINGLY GORGEOUS. It blew me away. I think I drove the entire hour and a half with my jaw open. It was all I could do to remember to keep my foot on the pedal and steer. And the hotsprings and venting sites, what a trip. Steam rises out of the land in the spookiest way here. Old Faithful was pretty snowy. Somehow, someway, without ANY planning, I had absolutely perfect timing. I arrived to find the benches pretty packed, but nothing was really happening. About six minutes later, it errupted and it was spectacular! I wanted to clap or something, but everyone was pretty quiet. I guess that’s not cool around here. Later, I found out it only goes off every 90 minutes. Damn, I’m good. Would have been bummed to wait and hour and a half in the snow. I watched the movie in the visitor’s center afterward and learned that 2/3 of the world’s geysers are here. My favorite moment of the movie: At one point, the narrator says “64,000 years ago, the landscape here looked dramatically different” and a little white-haired lady sitting in front of me stage-whispered “I did, too!”. I laughed out loud.

The drive back was equally as spectacular, and beyond, as I rounded a corner and found the normally empty highway a makeshift parking lot. People had just stopped their cars in the middle of the road and were all staring intently at something on the side of the road. Emily and Mark gave me a tip when you see people pulling over, pull over too, because most likely it’s something really cool. And it was!!!
On the shore of a little lake by the side of the road ambled a young GRIZZLY BEAR!!! It was SO amazing. Not a little guy, but not too big either. It was pretty funny, every time he moved his head this rush of little clicks would go off, from everyone’s cameras. I probably took 50 pictures, 49 of which are probably pretty bad. I’ll have to do some major editing later.I watched for almost 10 minutes, then got on my way when the little guy wandered off.

Other wildlife seen today: Tons and tons of elk, bison, and a jackrabbit. The bison are so huge!! It’s like if you covered the matrix with curly fur and added horns.

Back at the campsite, I rearranged the car for my little sleeping berth and made myself a pretty sorry dinner. Tuna straight from the can onto two slices of bread. Egh. I ate it just so I wouldn’t be hungry later, but I’m going to have to be a bit more creative next time. Went for a little walkabout the campsite loop before I went to bed to stretch my legs; I really regret not bringing my camping stove or even anything to start a fire with. If I stay here tomorrow, I’m going to make friends with somebody who has a fire. (see my camp set up, below) Also, the bathrooms are very clean and very warm. On my last stop before bed, I have to admit I lingered a bit in the warmness and did a bunch of stretching. So lucky nobody came in to see the weirdo stretching by the sink.

Used up the last bit of remaining daylight to practice ukulele. I really hope nobody could hear me.

DAY 12: Bozeman

2009-05-03T20:35:00.001-07:00

Started out the day with an awesome run. Vanessa took Tristan (the dog) and rode her bike alongside me jogging until she got me on a great running path. Beautiful, sunny day although I did run past random snow piles on the ground.

I planned on going to the Museum of the Rockies, and just as I was out the door, Vanessa randomly gave me a free pass to it! Woohoo. What luck. My favorite thing was seeing the world's largest T-Rex skull (see picture. If I look afraid, it's half because I would have been one bite for that thing, and half because I think I might get busted for setting up my automatic timer in the museum!! haha). Pretty neat stuff. Kind of regret not becoming a paleontologist and going on big digs. Also checked out the photography exhibit on Montana's sheep ranching. Had no idea "lambing" was a verb.

In the evening, Vanessa and I hand-made ravioli. Yes. Felt like such a badass kneading dough and spinning it through the pasta press. Not bad eatin' for a road trip, huh?

Day 11: May 2. On the road again: Missoula-Bozeman

2009-05-03T11:10:00.000-07:00

I went to a farmer's market in Montana today! So fun. Like Santa Cruz, but minus the drum circle, plus a few bison meat stands, and a whole lot colder. Bought some artisan chocolate for Vanessa, a friend of Emily's with whom I'll be staying with tonight in Bozeman. Also stocked up at the Good Food Store, the most awesome grocery store I've ever been to. No need to wax on about grocery stores in this blog, just take my word for it...

Was on the road by midday. Listened to local radio, which was a lot of country music (although I'm not a big fan of the genre, it matched the landscape pretty well). An easy 3 hour drive to Bozeman. Vanessa is an architect who lives with a 14 year old terrier in a great 1930's cottage which she's remodeling. Super friendly, and I get to stay in the guest house--in a little loft! So cool. We went out to dinner at a place called the Naked Noodle, which is all about pasta (heaven!) Indulged in 4-cheese macaroni and cheese. Soooo delicous. Probably soooo bad for me. Don't even care at this point.

Vanessa is also the captain and coach of a coed hockey league (!) and took me to a hockey party in the neighborhood. Met a lot of interesting characters, which was enhanced by the side-comments from Vanessa about what kind of ice-skater they were. Ended up participating/watching a jam session which included guitar, keyboard, drums, and a jaw harp. Yup. (My participating was banging on the drums now and then.) That's how they party in these parts.

DAY 10: May 1, First Friday

2009-05-03T11:01:00.000-07:00

Bought a road atlas today. You'd think that I would have already had one, being that I am on an extended road trip, but I somehow failed to think of that. While downtown, I finally saw what I thought would be a typical Montanian. So far, everyone has been extremely well-dressed and articulate (what a let down, ha). Secretly thrilled to have sat one booth over from two aging cowboys wearing plaid at lunch. Their conversation was centered around what caliber gun should be used when teaching an 11-year old how to shoot gophers. Which, naturally, led to a lively discussion about marmots. (Marmits? Varmints? Something else that needed to be shot, anyway.)

Later, checked out the art scene in downtown Missoula for First Friday. All the galleries are open late and serve wine and snacks--pretty fun. Went to sushi for dinner I was very doubtful--sushi? Montana? But the group was set on it. I made sure to order a roll with chicken.

DAY 9: April 30--Missoula, Montana: The Missoula Art Museum

2009-04-30T21:47:00.000-07:00

It was sunny this morning! So much so, that I, queen of all things layered and warm, decided to forgo the beanie and my vest on my bike ride to the art museum (which, as I have dutifully learned to check the website before i go--is open today). Unfortunately, I mistook a day without snow to be a day of warmth. The two are not the same. After five minutes, I had to circle back on my bike to retrieve my hat.

The Missoula Art Museum was really neat! I had expected “western-themed”, landscape-y oil paintings, but it was filled with very modern, very interesting artwork. The first gallery held some very modern, hip, layered-collage work. I noticed an older woman accompanied by a young woman come in after me, and I thought she would certainly find this modern mishmash distasteful. I kept my ear peeled to hear her tsk tsking, but was surprised to hear, instead, quite profuse praise. She switched between describing how wonderful the art was to how much it was worth and back again. Many, many times. And she was only looking at the first painting in a series of seven! After 10 minutes or so, (after I had circumnavigated the room myself), she remained on the same painting. I could hear her companion gently remind her there were a lot more to look at. “These must be insured for a great deal of money!” was her reply. I had to stifle a smile on my way out of the room past them and into the other galleries. Fortunately, the architecture was very open, so her voice carried into each gallery that I went into. Even as I explored a third gallery, I could hear “buckets of money, I’m telling you.”
I’m thinking of hiring her to critique my next show.

Day 8: April 29--Missoula, Montana: The "M"

2009-04-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

I am becoming Missoulian. (It sounds so exotic, doesn’t it?). Despite the fact that it is still snowing, I decided to go hike the “M” today. I even rode my bike there. Granted, I wore 6 more layers than the average Missoulian would, but the fact that I even decided to go outside in this weather makes me feel like a local. After pulling on two pairs of pants, two shirts, a heavy jacket, a down vest, and a raincoat, oh, and a beanie and gloves, I ventured up to campus and hiked 2100 ft up to the giant cement M. (see pic above; in all my layered glory) It was actually very refreshing and fun, although next time I might skip a layer or two (I neglected the exercise-induced body heat factor). Biking in the snow proved to be less fun, as i took quite a few snowflakes to the eyeball.

DAY 7: April 28--Missoula, Montana

2009-04-30T09:47:00.000-07:00

IT’S SNOWING!!! I feel like a little kid on Christmas morning when I wake up and little flakes are floating everywhere. I run to every window, joyful, until I open the front blinds and....my car isn’t there! Only a brief panic; Emily points out it has only moved about 200 yards away. hmm. Street cleaning tow? No ticket, no problem.

Walked into downtown again, lucky for me it’s Sustainable Transportation Week which means free coffee and tea for walkers. Yay. No need to tell them I’m not on my way to work. While standing at a crosswalk with a group of elderly tourists, a woman crosses towards us through a red light (no cars, but still--the elderly and I were playing it safe). As she gets to our corner, we all realize there was a cop car waiting at the stoplight and it makes a U turn and...yes...she was pulled over while walking. My fellow rule-followers and I share a good chuckle, only feeling slightly guilty about her bad luck.

It was my plan to find the Missoula Art Museum, but after getting lost, getting directions, and finding it finally, I find that it is closed on Tuesdays. Bah.

DAY 6: April 27--Missoula, Montana. Emily’s House

2009-04-30T09:38:00.000-07:00

Today I am still sore. This is pathetic. Limp downtown to do some exploring. I stop at every historical site plaque to read, which is as much an excuse to stop walking for a bit as it is to educate myself about important railroad sites, etc. Pop in and out of boutiques and art galleries; have lunch at the Break Espresso (mentioned in my guidebook, yay.) Find neat fish installation.
Back at home, recover from walk: paint, read, snack. Feel a bit guilty about exploring Emily’s kitchen more than Montana, but not enough to limp out into the cold again.

DAY 5: April 26, Missoula, Montana/ the Rattlesnake

2009-04-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

I awake to pain. Muscles I didn’t know existed are sore. I have developed weird limpy style of walking to ease pain. Handrails on stairs become more awesome than ever. 10K has wreaked havoc. A feat to get upstairs for breakfast.

Accompany Emily on her deck stain conquest. Goal: Return gallon of custom-mixed stain which did not match her fence and purchase the right stain. Foiled: About four blocks away from home, the entire gallon spills in her backseat. Bummmmmmmmmer. We rent an upholstery cleaner when we finally get to the hardware store. Plus side: gray stain on gray upholstery, could be worse. Minus: Her car is probably going to smell like paint for months.

Later we go to her boyfriend Mark’s house to bring him some soup (he’s very sick) and walk his white husky dog, Coda. He walks with us down to Rattlesnake creek (see left) and lets Coda off leash...and Coda takes off. Apparently he really, really likes deer. We go back to get the car and cruise Rattlesnake to look for him. Em points out some deer to me on a distant hill...then we realize they are running...and a white streak follows. Coda found. We hike up the hills to take in the view. (See right, with Emily, Skeet, and Coda)

DAY 4: April 25--Missoula, Montana. Riverbank Run

2009-04-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe it myself, but I ran a 10K this morning. At altitude. Without training. Really. As in, I’ve jogged maybe twice since my surgery? Emily was planning to do the 10K and I was going to do the 5K, but when we found out the 5K starts an hour and a half later, I decided what the heck. Frreeeeezing cold. Wore a beanie and gloves to run. (See "before" pic of Emily and me: only shed a few of those layers...) Walked at the 3 mile mark to drink some water. Ran for an hour and four minutes (you can do the math). Was passed by an embarrassing cross-section of Missoula runners (ex: a kid in jeans! jeans! moms discussing Oprah! An old man who sounded like he had a bad case of black lung!) Came in 315th. Wooohooo. Now, my body hates me.

DAY 3: April 24--Missoula, Montana. Emily’s house

2009-04-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

A mellow day after so much travel. Em takes me on a walk where the signs she’s designing for the Biomimicry Institute will go. We walk by the Clark Fork river, Skeet fetches logs from the water. Also: witness evidence of beavers! little tree stumps all gnawed up. Fun. I want to see one in person and see them tail-slap. On the Orange St. bridge, we see kayakers playing (?) training (?) in the standing wave there. One does a complete forward flip. Amazing.

Day 2: April 23. Wells, Nevada--Idaho--Missoula, Montana

2009-04-29T21:09:00.000-07:00

Day starts off well: have made it through the night my first time staying at a motel by myself without being mugged, kidnapped, or murdered. Breakfast at Bella’s Espresso House, short walk from motel. Quintessential truck stop eatery; my first time dining at a “sit down, order from menu” place by myself. Although--only one other patron (presumably trucker) also eating by himself. Minus the beard, and apart from the fact I am wearing leggings, I am fitting in so far.
Bella’s advertises for its sister establishment, Bella’s Gentleman’s Club, on their coffee mugs. Also: have small books for “table reading” including “How to Understand Women” and “How to Deal When You Are Surrounded By Idiots”. Now my leggings and I are not really feeling like their target customer.
After a good hearty breakfast, depart Wells happy and full. Highway 93 N, faced with first pass-the-semi-on-a-two-lane-highway situation. Would honestly rather spend half an hour behind the truck than face another semi head-on, but reality sets in and I get psyched up to pass. It doesn’t happen for awhile; eventually helped when a car behind me passes both of us. Then I follow suit.
Sign for Idaho is conveniently large enough to see from a distance plus an easy turnout. My first pic with the sign looks stupid, but I fear it would look vain to passerby for taking another pic. Realize nobody passing will realize I’m taking multiple pics. Pose with camera on hood of car, will be using a lot of the self-timer this trip.
Really pumped for Craters of the Moon National Monument. Not sure quite what to expect, but from the minute I saw it on the map, I wanted to be able to say I’ve been to the Craters of the Moon. First beautiful signage also passes too quickly--no photo op. Miles and miles of weird lava rock formations; probably what the moon would look like if it also had weird scraggly trees. Took the driving loop; nobody at ranger station--visitors asked to “self-pay” $8 fee into box. Although it briefly passed thru my head, I did not short the national park, even when nobody was looking. Cool, well kept park. Impressed with landscape as well as bathrooms (even came with hand sanitizer. my $8 will be well used). Bit of snow on ground, tried a self-timed photo op tossing snow at camera. Failed to capture. Applesauce-balance bar-leftover breakfast lunch. Delicious.
Towns on the way thru Idaho: will never call Santa Cruz a “small town” again. A small town takes 2 minutes to drive thru. Key structures you will pass: Church, bar, and Beauty Salon.
HWY 93 STUNNING. Curvy, running along river, unbelievable colors in the shrubs, trees, rocks. Farm every here and there.
Music: Have listened to every genre there is, I’m pretty sure. I was even tricked into listening to Christian rock for 5 min. (hey, I wasn’t paying attention to the lyrics! no fair!) One of my fav radio stations: A local rundown of the latest...state fair? 4H club happening? Reports include which high school junior sang the national anthem and whose gelding sold for what amount. Also reports on who received what belt buckle awards (not kidding.)
Begins to snow in mountains. Am excited to see cottony fluff in air, although concerned with black ice. Drive like a snail. Luckily, there is no one behind me. Ever. For maybe 2 hrs? Also began to look for Montana sign prematurely (after Nevada loss, I am vigilant around state borders). Once finally located, is snowing quite heavily, no time for a do-over, i will just look like doofus in front of sign.
Finally arrive at Emily’s!! Gorgeous house. Skeet (dog) very happy to see me. Wine, chips, and a biomimicry vid she has to watch with her co-workers. I learn that 3-toed sloths take a week to climb down out of their tree and defecate, and a week to climb back up. I believe my day is now complete.

DAY 1: Santa Cruz, CA-Wells, Nevada

2009-04-29T18:12:00.000-07:00

Managed CA traffic like a champ. Sierra Nevada was exciting, so happy to see first clumps of snow on the ground. Joyful to drive thru. Hitting Nevada less joyful, would have taken a pic w. the “welcome to Nevada” sign but it came up too quickly. Desolate drive, but dust storms add some interest. Also: finally figured out cruise control (What! Why have I never experimented with that little lever before! My foot will not be permanently cramped!).
Averaged about 38+ miles per gallon, Matrix is eco-friendly, wallet friendly adventure pod on wheels. Roll into Wells at dusk, balance bar and applesauce for dinner (which I promptly spilled on carpet. sorry Motel 6).

And so it begins...

2009-04-29T17:30:00.000-07:00

Hi folks,

I've set off on my North American walkabout of sorts! This blog will be a way to keep track of where I'm going and what I'm doing, although the promptness of posts may depend on availability of internet access. My overall plan is to make it cross country and back, but the duration and stops are all flexible. If you know of a place that I should check out, or have a cushy couch along my route, let me know!